ReBreathe

Junk Drawer

2012-01-11T12:28:00.000-06:00

We drove up to Vancouver from Seattle. After a 6 hour flight, we hopped into the car for another 2 hours. Our frantic trip finally ended at a hospital in downtown Vancouver, where my grandfather, heaving at the doorsteps of heaven, saw his great-granddaughter. He died the day after.

The day after he died, I went down to the nursing home. My dad and aunt were cleaning out his room, looking for a key he kept to his bank deposit box. I began going through his drawer, a mishmash of random trinkets: aged Tiger Balm, so old they were discolored, thirty seven safety pins, an assortment of combs, keys to locks that didn't exist anymore, an entire collection of old Cantonese opera tapes with the corresponding iPod of his day, a Sanyo radio/cassette tape player.

"What should we do with this stuff?"

"Throw it out."

"Even these keys?"

My aunt looks over and sees a pair of brass colored keys hanging off of a gnarled red necklace. I had found the deposit key.

As I combed through the last vestiges of my grandfather's physical possessions I wondered what it would be like for me. What would people see as they dug through the last of my possessions? Old USB cables, FireWire converters, books with pages never turned? Or would they be looking through one of those ancient solid state drives, seeing a whole bunch of old games that only ran on PowerPC chips, a bunch of utilities that came bundled in software bundles that I never used?

The things of my grandfather that I appreciated most were his pictures. He kept a ton of pictures, unsorted, randomly placed in piles, of his family. Old pictures of me as a kid, newer pictures of me married. Those pictures connected me to him in a way that those deposit keys never would.

It was surreal at the funeral to see living images looped of him on the screen juxtaposed against the still body laying in front of us. As we went out to lay the body into the ground, there was a strange finality to the closing of the casket, the lowering into the ground, and the finally tamping of the earth on top of him.

I was reminded of the cost of bringing life into the world; not just the financial cost of having Serenity, but the stress, the worry. It was kind of a mirror of the death journey. Except now, for my grandfather, the worrying stops.

Homecoming: Week 1

2011-10-20T08:08:00.000-05:00

It's been surreal coming home. On the one hand, it's been comforting to be able to interact with people in a language that I am 100% confident in, as opposed to listening intently and trying to build from context what the missing pieces might be. On the other hand, it was a bit jarring to remember how to interact with people: I needed some help at the post office and the cashier was helping another customer but I went up and just asked if they had any packing tape… without waiting in line. I got reprimanded with a fake: "I'm sorry sir, I'm helping another customer right now". Translation: "Get to the back of the line and wait your turn." I smiled.

The toughest thing has been to adjust to the new timezone while Serenity doesn't/can't. I think she's been adjusting slowly, but I think it's been pretty clear that she is still on Beijing time, which makes things hard for us because we're trying to do things during the daytime (while she's sort of asleep) but she's trying to do things during the nighttime (when we're sort of asleep).

Highlights so far:

Boutique sodas. I love drinks. So far I've had one case of Reed's Ginger Beer, one bottle of another kind of Ginger Beer (I don't remember the name) and one case of Lemon Lime Bitters soda.
Football. I watched the Cowboys and Patriots and the 49ers and Lions games. I missed football so much.
Working out. I ran 3.1 miles (5K) in 38:16 on the first day. I ran 3.25 miles in 34:16 on the second day. Don't really know if I can keep this up. :)
Driving. The in-laws rented a car for me. It was fun to drive, but I realize that I really do appreciate other people driving me (i.e. taking public transportation or taking a taxi).
Food. Lots of different kinds of food. I had a gyro. Ravioli. Trader Joe's. Yum.

Steve and the Crazy Man

2011-08-26T04:50:00.001-05:00

Everyone is reminiscing on their Steve Jobs stories. I have one to share too, but unlike the others, it's more about what didn't happen.

One little known fact is that I used to work at Apple, back when it was Apple Computer. I was a software engineer working for the International Text Group (ITG). I had been an Apple fanboy since I was a wee lad and this was pretty much a dream come true. I learned a ton: font formats, typography and daylight savings time just scratched the surface. Working at Apple was awesome.

(Sidenote: The reason why I try to keep this on the down-low is that people assume that since I worked at Apple and was a computer programmer, that someone how I could fix their computer. Does anyone ask the worker dishing up fries at McDonald's how to plant potatoes? How about asking a plumber about doing a colonoscopy? Do you have a problem with your computer? I might be able to help, but your best bet is to ask the Chipmunkgeek .)

Anyways, onto my encounter with Steve. I was leaving the office late one night. In those days, the ITG was located right above a top-secret area where a lot of top-secret secrets were kept very top-secretly. I knew it was top-secret because you needed a special key card to open the door to the area and everyone that entered into the area would do the "is-a-crazy-man-following-me" look-around before entering. Steve was waiting in the lobby right outside of the door to the top-secret area that evening. As I came out the elevator, I saw him fiddling with the iMac that they had on a desk for people to sign-in.

You know that crazy man that they're always looking for before they go into the top-secret area? At this point, I became that man. I thought to myself: "Hey, there's Steve Jobs! What if I went up to him and just started punching him in his face!?" I was seriously insane. It got even ~~better~~ worse. The crazy man continued: "Man, I'd be famous! I'd get on Slashdot and MacWorld." Fortunately, the conversation in my slowly-becoming-sane mind took a turn for the better:"Then I'd get arrested. I'd get fired. I'd spend a lot of time in court. Man, I'm hungry. I just want to get something to eat." So I quickly walked by Steve. I left him with his face intact; he left me with my life unscathed.

So there's my brush with greatness. Thanks Steve! Because of you I have no memories of going to court or spending time in jail.

How to give birth

2011-08-16T04:34:00.002-05:00

Giving birth is so easy. Millions of women do it every day. If you are a woman and trying to learn how to give birth, I recommend googling "How to give birth". For the rest of us, I am writing this for you.

The Wolf in her natural habitat. Eyes closed means she is thinking about how to wake me up at 3 am.

As a side note, I am a new dad. When people have children, sometimes everything becomes centered around their new child. They start taking pictures when they never took pictures before. They start wearing onesies and drinking breast-milk. The blogs that they started to write about their own lives magically transform into an unauthorized biography on someone learning to poop in a large porcelain bowl. This is understandable. But fear not, faithful reader, I will be faithful to you in the purposes of this blog. This blog is about me. Sometimes I will write something about the Wolf. But when I do it will be about mostly about me and not so much about her.

But onto how to give birth. The following are rules that I've learned about giving birth.

Place towels on the floor. When the Baby Factory is in labor, she is very juicy. So that you do not slip and fall, please place towels everywhere. Is this disgusting? Yes. Will it save your life? Maybe.

Welcome your new family member with open arms. What? You think I am talking about the new child? I am not. I am talking about the new relationship that you will have that will save your marriage and prevent your uterus from exploding. (Yes, men have uteruses too. They are spiritual uteruses and they're somewhere in between your stomach and your bladder.) I am talking about our friend Epidural, a friend so kind and gracious that we've made him an official family member! "But wait," you object, "isn't Epidural bad for the baby? It's an unnatural way to give birth!" Friend, do you know what is unnatural? The screams of pain that convulse in the bowels of the uterus that shatter your eardrums. If you have no nerves in your uterus, then I heartily congratulate you and encourage you not to have one. But for the rest of us (men included), I will openly welcome the needle in the spine. Coincidentally I try to have one everyday to dull the pain of the Wolf howling in my brain.

Learn to lie. Sometimes, when the Baby Factory is at work, she will say stuff like: "I'm never going to have this baby." or stuff like: "I can't go on." At this point it is best to say encouraging things like:

"What? It's about to come out. Don't give up now!"
"This is the last push you'll have to do" (and then mumble quickly, "For the next 20 seconds").
"No, no. I know you have enough energy. Here, I'll push with you." This is actually really weird but if it works, then say it.

Honestly, at this point, your job is to make sure that she just keeps pushing. So this is one of those times in life where you can say anything as long as it accomplishes your means.

The baby is freakishly scary right after giving birth. The Wolf was all bloody and screaming and blue. Did I want to hold her? No. Is that mean? No. I did want to hold her after they had sterilized her, changed her color, and gave me earplugs, but the Baby Factory got to hold her first. I am not sorry that I did not hold her right after birth. Really gross. And yes, I accept the award for 'Worst Father Ever'.

I get really grumpy if I don't have enough sleep. The Boss has noted that I am supernaturally grumpy. This, I think, is my gift. But I get really grumpy when I don't get enough sleep. The Wolf enhances my superpower.

All in all, a very successful time at the hospital. I got to watch a lot of t.v. and eat some pretty decent food. If you've come to the end of this entry (which you have because you are reading this right now), you now know everything I know about what it is like to give birth. Congratulations.

Birther class

2011-08-08T20:52:00.003-05:00

My future child will no doubt one day run for president. On that day, there will be millions that will claim that she is not a natural-born citizen of the United States. There will be some theories that will allege she was born in Kenya, not to US citizens living abroad, or that her birth certificate is a forgery. That may be the price my child will have to bear; I hope I can prepare her well for this.

I took an initial step into preparing myself for my child's grand entrance into the world. It is difficult, sometimes, to attend a class that is essentially about all the words I snicker to myself in private: pee pee, poo poo, vagina, penis, anus. But I was willing to bear this price for several reasons:

I know nothing about bearing children. I learned a lot today. I just needed some basic information on what to expect and how to know when to get the Boss to the hospital (and when to tell that she is just messing around).
I wanted to be able laugh, in an immature and junior-high like way, at the content.
I knew the three of you reading would find this amusing.

But I digress. We spent ten hours in class. It was good. My success is your success. Here's what I learned; now you don't have to go. (BTW, I recommend taking a birther class. It's way better than reading this blog entry.) If you want to know the fundamental, foundational basics about child birthing, though, here they are:

Go to the hospital when the contractions are around a minute long (or longer) and five minutes (or less) apart.
Decide what you'll do when you have an option for a cesarean and/or epidural.
Be nice to your wife.

The rest of the stuff is just icing on the cake.

I learned about how the baby is developing in it's own toilet. The teacher said: "The baby has it pretty good in there. It doesn't have to eat. It doesn't have to poo. The baby is actually peeing into a water balloon. Where does it go? No where." That doesn't sound good to me at all. If there are two things I like to do it's eating and pooing. Eating is one of the most awesome sports invented. This sport is so popular, it will be hard for you to find someone that doesn't know how to eat. Pooing is nice because it smells bad, which tells me what I ate was delicious (and made out of meat). It is also nice because it tells me that my body is ready to eat some more.

I learned that having a baby is basically like blowing your nose. "The cervix forms a booger that blocks stuff from getting to the baby.The cervix has cells that make mucus. Like your nose." A little bit later I was told that the booger comes out when your wife is ready to give birth: "The mucus plug looks like you've blown your nose." At this point I began considering 'Cervix' as a boy's name.

I also learned that having a baby is like going poop. We watched a movie where it was basically this woman going poop in a bathtub. Apparently, you can poop your pants while you are giving birth. This is because the baby, as it is making the journey to freedom, pushes on your small intestine. If you've got any leftover chocolate PowerBar hanging around, it gets squeezed out of your anus. I was laughing so hard inside I thought I was going to have a baby.

I learned about leukorrhea. It's like diarrhea but it's white instead of brown. And it comes from your vagina. (By your, I mean if you are a woman and pregnant, this will come out. If you are not a woman and/or not pregnant, I would rush to the hospital if I had leukorrhea).

I learned that my plan to welcome my daughter into the world might have to be put on hold. I previewed a "Welcome to the World" rock dance ensemble for the Boss. She was amused. I told her that I was planning to welcome my child into the world with some GNR: 'Sweet Child of Mine'. But today I learned that a soothing, calm environment facilitates in creating Oxytocin which helps in the labor process. It's basically Axl Rose vs Oxytocin. I think the Boss might have been disappointed that I'm thinking about cancelling the choreographed welcome.

I learned about different baby positions. Did you know that your baby could be born a transverstite?

I learned a lot about sphincters. This was a particularly difficult time in the class where I summoned all my willpower not to just die from laughing. I guess it helped that I drank 20 oz of hot chocolate that morning without taking enough milk pills. I was trying not to fart in class so that gave me something else to think about besides quotes like "…'horse lips' help the sphincters to open…" and laws that are titled: 'Sphincter's Law'. Seriously, what is the proper reaction to a talk that starts with: "We have sphincter muscles in the anus."

I learned about meconium. It's basically baby poop that gets on a baby because it poops into its own swimming pool.

I learned a lot today. And this is all before my daughter is born. I can't wait to see what I'll be able to learn when she's actually here.

The New Googs

2011-07-03T09:02:00.001-05:00

I'm minding my own business on the Le Intérweb. Suddenly monsieur gets hit by Le Google+ (aka LG+). LG+ does this ninja thing and then, while I'm looking, dragon punches me into "Wow…this can weird but so cool" land. And then Blogger gets all fanshy-pants on me, looking all slick and clean. What's going on? I'm pretty impressed, but I don't know how long this will last (i.e. my infatuation with this new look).

I ~~was~~ am really confused by the Google+ thing, though. It sounds like it's supposed to be like the Book of Faces, but instead of you signing up to be someone's ~~face~~ friend, they get signed up by the author. Even if they don't have a Google+ ~~thingy~~ ~~account~~ thingy.

I vowed not to go onto Facebook because I didn't need another thing to sign-up for and check. LG+ solves that for me. I'm not sure about the whole, sign-up your 'friends' thing. As an experiment, I created a circle and called it the X-Circle. Then I added 9 people to it because I could only name 10 canonical X-Men off the top of my head. They are: Angel, Colossus, Wolverine, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Ice Man, Rogue, Gambit, and of course, Professor X. I am Professor X, of course.

We'll see where this thing goes. I'm sort of interested in social networking but I fear that it is something that I sort of do but not really do.

Like this blog.

Yum!

2011-06-12T21:49:00.000-05:00

It's nice to lean back and sip some cool and refreshing. Don't worry your Majesty, you'll get yours. But for now, I'm just savoring the sweet. Congratulations Dirk!

Adventure

2011-05-20T16:01:00.000-05:00

I'm going to be a dad soon. Well, maybe I'm a dad already. (Is it a pizza when you put your hand in the dough? Or is it a pizza only when it comes out the oven?) Right now, it's 4:22 am where I'm at. I'm having a tough time sleeping because the air is really thin (12,000 ft above sea level) and dry. The Rodent Geek and I took a road trip this weekend to see someone who trains people to program computers for his software development business. Here's a subset of experiences in the past 36 hours (in no particular order):

Got caught in a yak jam. Our taxi had to navigate its way through a current of yak crossing the street.
Tried to talk to a local who had poorer Mandarin than myself.
Used an outhouse.
Was told that if a Tibetan mastiff approaches me, I should pretend to pick up a rock and throw it at the dog. And don't stop making eye contact or it will bite me.
Was told that boys can pee anywhere in the yard.
Was told to just spit anywhere in the yard to finish brushing my teeth.
Saw it snow. (In May!)
Learned how to use a coal stove to heat a room.
Saw some of the most beautiful rock formations. Maybe the Rodent Geek will supply me with some pictures.
Met a new friend who found out we had the same last name and was greeted with praises at the news.

I have a profound admiration for the family that we are living with. Sometimes I'll get comments from people in the States about how they couldn't live where I'm living. This place makes our place look like we live in Orbit City. While it is pretty primitive, there's a lot of technology intertwined: surround speakers, a Wii, a wireless network. It's fascinating to see how this homestead is an amalgamation of technology, do-it-yourselfness, and ... camping, for lack of a better word.

It is amazing, encouraging, and humbling for me to know this family and to be a guest here. It was very difficult for us to get out here and I'm guessing the isolation here can be difficult. And yet, I sense a deep love that this family has for the people that live here. I suppose that this love is the driving motivation behind why someone would move thousands of miles from their home to live in an upgraded campground.

Despite not being able to sleep very well tonight, I am so grateful for this experience. Being grateful for the present is something that I've been learning. Even without a shower (it's not clear to me that I'll get one this weekend), using an outhouse, shoveling yak dung into a coal stove...all those things that a 'civilized' Westerner would look at with horror, I feel that this is an experience to be embraced. I don't know how many more opportunities I'll have like this. I'm sure that each stage of life has it's own treasures to enjoy... I'm definitely looking forward to the life of a father, but I also am enjoying embracing the now.

It's been a while since I've been on an adventure like this. I'm pretty excited.

Information Black Hole vs Lent

2011-03-13T05:04:00.000-05:00

"The tradition of Lent—a forty-day sacrifice—is one way of mourning the death that sin has caused in our lives. As we see Jesus perfectly withstand Satan's temptation in the wildernesss, we admit our own shortcomings, our own inadequate sacrifices. This period of 'giving up' has a profound way of recalling our desperate need for Jesus Christ."^[1]

The rhythm of my days revolve around a schedule that is, to be quite honest, centered on myself. It starts with figuring out what and when to eat: Granola or oatmeal? Light brunch and then lunch at the caf? It then moves to fitting in time with my first love (by first, I'm speaking in terms of chronology not value): the computer. The pattern is usually eating breakfast while I read Google News, The New York Times, Daring Fireball, MacNN, Hacker News and ESPN all simultaneously, switching from one tab to another on my browser, slowly but methodically downloading the entire internet into my brain. Not participating in this ritual often leaves feeling that I missed out on something happening in the world, like the latest Charlie Sheen rant. The irrational and chaotic^[2] liturgical calendar, then, is an important reminder to me, that God's time is never the same as my time.

I happen to love Easter because it, unlike Christmas or any other competing holiday, draws me through a path of memorial and takes me through the darkest lows and the brightest highs; from the hope of Palm Sunday to the somberness of Good Friday and finally to the joy of Resurrection Sunday, I feel like I'm taken through the gamut of the human experience. Easter is full of emotion and reflection; important things that are often forgotten for a guy that likes to sit in a room staring at luminiscent screen while his fingers jab away at the keyboard.

"The season of Lent is puzzling to many. Denying ourselves our favorite treats or habits—even for a short time—seems archaic in our I-want-it-now culture. Lent is a plodding, definitive crecendo that leads up to the cacophonous noise of Good Friday and the gorgeous aria of Easter. It's a season marked by deliberateness and intentionality."

One of the things that I have noticed over the years is that I am something of an Information Black Hole.^[3] When I was young, my parents bought a second-hand set of encyclopedias; these were most likely published in the late 60's.^[4] I read these from A to Z. And then my dad bought another set of encyclopedias: a set of Encyclopedia Brittanicas. I also read these from A-Z.^[5] I can spend hours on Wikipedia, just reading about farriers and Legionnaires' disease. And for someone with a bad memory, I can sure hold in a lot of useless information. I can easily spend two or three hours a day just reading news, looking at electronics reviews, posting on forums, browsing esoteric wikipedia articles. So this is the thing that I'm giving up for Lent: outside of my email and the New York Times, I am not going to be spending time suckling at the teat of the internet. Most of my time grazing the pastures of the cybernet is really because I'm looking for something else to do. During this time of Lent, I hope that my attention is turned toward remembering the great sorrow that has past, the greater joy that I have, and the greatest hope that is to come.

What are others doing for Lent? (When I say 'others' I really mean 'you'. And by 'you' I mean the 7 people that still read this blog, not including the Boss).

[1] All quotes are taken from a book I'm reading called "Devotions for Lent", a small book built on excerpts from the Mosaic Bible.
[2] Easter is never the same every year! It drives me crazy. If we can do Christmas on the 25th of December, why can't we find a similar date for Easter? :)
[3] Basically, I am the Information Superhighway's arch-enemy.
[4] One article talked about race and how there were three different races: Caucasoid, Mongoloid, and Negroid. I kid you not. That's why I think they were published in the late 60's.
[5] In retrospect, it's not clear to me that this was such a good idea. I remember reading things that I had no understanding of. (I just remember the feeling of being confused; I don't remember the topic).

Haterade Plus: Now With More Electrolytes!

2011-03-07T01:48:00.000-06:00

Recently I've been sipping the Haterade. And it's been really good lately. I find that, just by adding some human tears, you get an enhanced taste that mimics a delicious margarita.

El Heat have been making me feel muy bien. I don't feel at all bad for D-Wade when he complains that everyone just wants the Heat to lose. You created a super-mega-über team. Of course I'm going to want you to lose! But seriously, I don't see the Warriors crying. That's because they don't have this expectation that "if I try hard, I should succeed". It's a common assumption, especially in American culture. But there are a lot of reasons why, even if you try hard, you shouldn't succeed: you don't have enough resources, you have poor health, you were attacked by bees, a madman runs your country, your name is Charlie Sheen, etc.

At this point, the Heat are going to make it to the playoffs for sure. The question that everyone's wondering is how they'll do in the playoffs. I can't decide what is more delicious: "First Round Exit On the Beach" or "Final Game 7 Beaten By the Buzzer Iced Tea".

Humanity wins!

2011-03-05T08:07:00.000-06:00

As Watson completely dominated the human race, I have taken a step forward in restoring faith in the power and strength of humanity. For centuries, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' has been the foundation of all conflict: Should I create an impenetrable defense? (Rock) Should I initiate a sharp pre-emptive strike? (Scissors) Should I wipe my butt? (Paper)

Witness the complete domination of humanity over Skynet!

My 'wall'

2011-03-04T15:08:00.000-06:00

We live in a somewhat rundown, barely middle-class apartment complex. And I love it. The largest perk is that we feel like we live in a neighborhood. People know one another, people (for better or worse) talk about one another, people are connected together. It's like living Facebook. Some snippets on my 'wall':

[I'm riding back home from school on the Boss's electric bike and see Jay, one of the neighborhood kids walking home.]

Me: Oh hey Jay! Going home?
Jay: <sigh> Yeah.
Me: Do you want a ride home?
Jay: OK!
Me: Does your mom usually pick you up?
Jay: (embarrassed) Um, no. She makes me walk home. You don't need to give me a ride home...
Me: WHAT!? We're both going to the same place. Get on the back now!

[On the bike Jay tries to practice his English on me.]

Jay: <Where are you going?>
Me: (laugh)<I am going home. Where are *you* going?>
Jay: <I am going home too!>

Another time, the Boss and I came home and she had just purchased a bunch of pears. One of the kids, who is basically as bad as you can get without being a criminal just started school (he's wearing his school uniform).

Me: When did you start school?
Kid: Today! (Notices the pears). Can I have an apple?
Me: (laughs) (to the Boss in English) <He wants an apple.>
Me: (To the Kid) You can't have an apple. But you can have a pear. Do you want a pear?
Kid: Yes!
[Kid's mom comes up behind him.]
Mom: WHAT!? Why did you ask auntie for a pear!? Did you say thank you!? (to us) I'm so sorry.

This reminds me of when I was growing up and I would see adults with chips, candy, or something else that I would be deprived of in my cell block at home. When I'd ask for it, I'd always get the same lecture afterwards: "We're not poor! Don't go begging for food! We can get you candy if you want it!" Haha.

It's not easy to live in our neighborhood. Or in our country for that matter. But stuff like this makes it way easier.

Vacation Thaim

2011-02-14T02:36:00.001-06:00

I am 33 years old. Well, I will be, barring some unforeseen circumstance. Vacation in Thailand has been interesting. Today is our ninth day here, and I realize that I'm not really a 'vacation-forever'
guy. Vacation is supposed to be (I think) for recharging, for taking a break. It's not supposed to be forever. At least I hope not. I'm ready to get back home and work, but before I do that, let me review some important firsts that have occurred.

• I have ridden a motorcycle with my pregnant wife on the back, for the first time, driving on the left-side of the road. (In Thailand, cars are set up with the steering on the right side of the car so that
your right hand is closest to the center of the road). It is both like riding a bike and not like riding a bike. First, the motorcycle has two wheels, like a bike. Second, it has hand-brakes, like a bike.
Third, it can go really fast and you could smash your body into a brick wall easily, not like a bike. It was pretty fun, but I didn't do anything too dangerous. Except for go up this steep hill against the flow of traffic on a motorcycle.
• I learned about Phi Phi island (pronounced 'pee-pee'). I proceeded to make all the obvious jokes there are (example: 'Oh, Phi phi island? I go there every morning!'. And: 'I made my own Phi phi island in the
ocean.'). I will probably make these lame jokes in front of you. Lucky!
• I learned that there is a lot of 'using' in relationships between old foreign men and young Thai women. This was sad. I also learned, through talking to a couple of Thai women, that it is very common for Thai women to be divorced. This was sad too.
• I learned that I look like a Thai person and that even though I learned how to say 'I don't speak Thai' in Thai, this doesn't convince someone that you don't speak Thai. In fact, it encourages them to
continue speaking to you in Thai. I also learned that this phrase makes me a lot of friends.
• I saw my child for the first time. I learned that they look like a frog/alien. I am very excited to be a dad. I am sure that it will be different from computer programming.
• I learned that different cultures feel differently about going topless at the beach. I also learned that this isn't a big deal especially if most of the people on the beach are over 45.
• I learned that I know how to say 'good-bye' in Russian. I had seen a Russian phrase in a movie once. I used it on some Russian guests at the hotel we were staying. I am still alive. I am assuming it meant
goodbye.

Food poisoning: the sport

2011-01-09T22:52:00.000-06:00

I received some feedback asking me what food poisoning as an Olympic sport would be like. We completely leave the world of judging to the lame events; this is going to be one of the central events of the Olympics so it needs to have a proper amount of objectivity in determining the winner.

For food poisoning, then, what determines the winner? Is it amount of material ejected? From which end? Do we combine both ends? Do we use the same kind of food? (Or, should I say: 'food'?) Is this a test of endurance or a test of speed?

The small-minded will spend hours poring over these different dimensions. But the visionaries among us will look at the current Olympics and realize that we can split this into multiple events! Here is a partial list of events in my mind:

1) 100 m dash. After eating a standard meal (it would be the same thing for everyone) you have to diarrhea a line that is 100 m long as fast as you can. There cannot be a space between spurts more than a meter long. This tests foot speed, pass-through-the-colon speed, and determination.

2) Hurling. Like the name suggests, after eating as much of a poisoned food product, you would see how far you could throw up.

3) Spurting. Like the above except the other end.

There's actually a lot more in my brain. I wrote out a number of them, but deleted them all because some things should actually stay in my brain and not on the internet.

A real sport

2011-01-01T11:51:00.003-06:00

I hate all competitions that are judged. I use the word 'competition' instead of 'sport' because I don't consider such affronts to sportdom as sport. That's not to say that I don't think things like gymnastics, ice skating, and 'Dancing with the Stars' demand a high-level of athleticism, but there's something wrong when the winner of a competition is selected because the Russian judge got paid off.

In the past 24 hours, I've had the privilege of taking part in an event that I consider a true sport. It tests one's courage and determination, and has been the most physically painful thing that I've done in recent memory: battling with food poisoning.

Our journey begins at about 7 pm, New Year's Eve. I have a heaping bowl of spaghetti, with some suspect ground beef. Beef and I have been friends for a long time so I suspect nothing. The fool says in his heart that beef won't hurt him.

10:12 pm: I am playing Settlers of Catan, feeling a little gassy, but that's normal for me. No worries.
11:10 pm: I am playing this dancing game on the Wii. Feeling a little more uncomfortable, but whatever.
12:01 am: We're going around sharing highlights/lowlights from 2010. I feel like I'm experiencing my lowlight of 2011; I want to throw up and diarrhea at the same time. The boss and I go home.
12:43 am: I try to throw up for 4 minutes. I throw up on the fifth minute. Lots of tomato and parmesan cheese. This completely exhausts me. In high school I'd run track. Mondays were the worst because we'd do these 200 meter sprints. Eight of them. At the end of the eighth one I'd be so tired that every thing I looked at was tinged blue and I just wanted to take a nap. One time I took a nap for an hour after the workout. This was worse than that. I had no energy left after throwing up.
1:00 am: I have this intense fever. My legs ache uncontrollably. I'm really tired though so I want to go to sleep but I can't because of all the pain. I can't decide which is worse: the aching from the fever or the fact that there's something in my stomach that wants to get out. I try to throw up but can't. I don't sleep for the rest of the night. I just toss and turn. Sometimes my legs cramp up from the aching.
8:00 am: I finally fall asleep.
1:36 pm: I wake up and have diarrhea every 10 minutes for the next half hour. I have no energy left; it takes all of my concentration to walk over to the toilet and do the deed.

So I didn't die (at least not yet), even though I considered going to the hospital at different points. I don't ever remember having food poisoning like this before. It's awesome that I survived. I think this should be an Olympic sport.

25-year friends

2010-12-30T01:00:00.002-06:00

I'll be the first to admit that my friend making skills waver from mediocre to atrocious. I can easily tell you the names of 10 people who are better at being a friend than I am.

It's not that I don't like having friends or making friends, it's just that I am a combination of:

1) not very sympathetic/sensitive to people
2) not a bend-over backwards nice guy (in fact… if you said I was a jerk, I wouldn't blame you)
3) somewhat introverted

In fact, when it comes to friends, the fewer the better, I (selfishly) think because then I can spend time with the few that I have and still have time leftover for, well, me.

If you've read this far, you're probably disgusted that you know me or, if you don't know me, disgusted that I exist. Or, perhaps, you realize that 159 words don't really give a full picture of anyone because it's the internet.

In any case, I read this:

http://diveintomark.org/archives/2010/05/28/of-course

and loved it. For all my connectedness (or disconnectedness) with the internet, nothing can replace those friends that I have who I don't need Twitter, Facebook, email, Skype, telephone, post, pigeons, or ESP to know and love. Not that these things are bad; in fact, they are helpful in keeping me connected. But there's something reassuring and rare about friends that I've made that don't need these things to stay in touch, and that makes me thankful for old friends.

Hot Chocolate

2010-12-23T12:10:00.002-06:00

I love hot chocolate. I love it so much that I had briefly considered marrying it. I'm glad I didn't but I still love it: I am lactose intolerant, yet I will gladly drink a high-quality hot chocolate without my milk pills just to enjoy that smooth, slightly bitter chocolaty goodness. The weird thing is that chocolate's not even my favorite flavor. I think my favorite flavor is burrito. Hrm. I should think about that.

I remember trying to create a chocolate soda by mixing some cocoa powder in a Coke. I got a really bad stomachache after that. This reminds me that I need to write about a chocolate soda I found here (short version: it sucked).

What I'm really trying to say is that this article:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/12/23/DDQF1GQK90.DTL

makes me want to go to San Francisco right now. Except it's 2:09 am and I should be sleeping instead of blogging and writing emails about relationships.

Writing

2010-12-12T03:48:00.000-06:00

I started blogging a long time ago. Not like four years ago. I mean like 1999. It started with making a web page. In those days, web pages consisted of <html> and <strong> and <p>. If you got fancy you tried to use <img> with an image of an envelope orbiting the earth. If you were cool you had some sort of black background and you used a lot of green text. We started web page for Saddam Hussein, who wanted to be a professional wrestler. I remember laughing so hard. Those were the days.

Before blogging was called blogging, I began updating a website about how frustrated I was in lab. I'd complain about how I shorted my board. I lamented my lameness in wrapping wires on a breadboard. It sounds lame, but it was pretty fun. And by 'fun' I mean cathartic.

I do like to write, but I rarely update. Part of it can be attributed to my busyness: I've got school, some leadership responsibilities, hanging out with new friends, work. But if I'm honest, a big piece of not writing comes from being vain. I'll write and write, re-read, edit, rewrite… The end of that process usually yields a paragraph or so. I'll read it once more and decide that it is insufficient in showing the world how awesome I am.

But maybe that's the lesson: I'm not that awesome. I am a missed comma, a misspelling, a clichéd phrase. I am confused about capitalizing Chinese (or is it 'chinese'? I mean it's the name of language right?) I am superficial and unwitty. I lack deep significance and am unable to improve the lives of people who read this. I repeat myself over and over and sometimes I say the same things more than once.

So those two things, busyness and vanity, are what contribute to the dearth of posts. This isn't a piece about wanting to write more, though I do want to write more. I write a ton: I write agendas, party plans, minutes, newsletters, customer service replies. It's different to write in this space, because I'm not responding to some obligation. Instead of wanting to write more, though, I'm finding that I'm desiring to write freely.

A Thousand Suns

2010-10-23T23:37:00.001-05:00

I'm not a music connoisseur. I like my Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, and even a little Justin Bieber once in a while (one million screaming teenagers couldn't be wrong, could they?). I'm pretty bourgeois and if you were looking for something that was musically "edgy" or "hip" I'd have to point you to a couple other friends who are much more discerning (i.e. picky) than I. But that's not to say that I'm with out taste. :) I recently picked up the new LP album. Awesome. The new Linkin Park album is beautiful, stirring, passionate. I don't share the same political views as LP but there latest offering is compelling, courageous, hopeful, imaginative, passionate… Things that I embrace as fundamental to what it means to be human. Most folks aren't into the rap/rock, nu-metal genre which LP is known for so the initial reaction might be that they would never listen to A Thousand Suns. But part of the courage of this album is that LP moves away from the sound that they are known for: the music is still LP but most tracks are unlike Meteroa and Hybrid Theory. A Thousand Suns is a concept album, meaning that the album is to be taken in as a whole; the separate tracks, unlike most albums, are closely related to one another. ATS is about to war. It moves from the frightening to the sorrowful to the wrathful and, finally, to the hopeful. The album is a little less than 48 minutes long. If you want to listen to it, I recommend listening to it when you have time to just sit and listen. Some highlights:

ATS has some memorable and historical sound bites from Mario Savio, Martin Luther King Jr., and Robert Oppenheimer mixed in. Oppenheimer's quote in The Radiance is particularly eerie.
I love the piano mixed in with the choral background in Robot Boy.
Iridescent has this soaring chorus at the end that reminds me of ColdPlay.
Wretches and Kings: It's Rage 2.0. Awesome.

I've been reading several reviews: people either love it or hate it. Part of the criticism is that LP seems to have eschewed it's roots by pursuing a more pop-friendly sound. That's debatable, though LP is more accessible, there's enough screamo, rap, and drums to keep many people away. Part of genius is surfacing this dichotomy of love and hate. I've been listening to it over and over for the past half week and I am consistently reminded how meaningful this album is. It reminded me of why I love Rage Against the Machine. These people care about their music and they think their music can change, not just individuals, but humanity.

Family Portraits

2010-10-14T22:02:00.004-05:00

Make your own: Kim & Kim @ BigPicture

Being in College

2010-10-09T23:38:00.000-05:00

This semester I'm taking two "non-language" classes. The hope is that I'll be able to practice my listening and speaking in contexts that aren't exclusively language focused. This is, obviously, a little harder than my usual language class but it's more fun since I get to see language in action.

My first class was my computer science class. The first thing I noticed was the relationship between the teacher and the students. First, she lectured them about coming in on time (they still come in late). It's interesting how most of these students are 18 or 19 (or 20) but they still get treated like seniors or juniors in high school. There was this one point where she basically said: "I know you guys are all lazy..." and I totally snorted in class and these girls stared at me. Haha.

Second, a lot of the interaction reflects a rote learning style. The teacher asks a question, and if the answer is obvious, everyone answers in semi-unison. Or if the teacher is repeating a point, she'll ask a question and then proceed to answer it herself with everyone joining in unison.

There is a complete emphasis on practicality. This is fine, but when I was in college the emphasis was completely different. There was an attempt to make the concepts taught language agnostic and we used an "unpractical" language (Scheme) to get us to focus on the concepts instead of the implementation. The emphasis on practicality means that they talk a lot about C language constructs, how to use Borland's C compiler and the importance of programming in Windows. The computer lab totally reflects this emphasis on practicality: there's no internet access in it and the machines are all running these old (probably pirated) copies of XP with old copies of Visual FoxPro, Visual * programming tools, Borland, etc.

It made really thankful for UNIX and how I got started on UNIX; I felt a lot of the concepts and tools learned were useful in a way that transcended the specific idiosyncrasies of each tool. I certainly don't feel that way here.

As we think about developing relationships and possibly hiring here, it makes me a little apprehensive; there was a huge learning curve for me in going from the university to working. I appreciated the work ethic (e.g. staying up all night, being committed to deadlines, etc) that being at Cal gave me (I was a lazy bum in high school). With all the culturally acceptable plagiarism here as well as varying degrees of work ethic, I hope we can find the right folks to network with here.

Basketball class... that's for another post!

Happy Birthday

2010-09-30T23:52:00.002-05:00

Hey Party people, it's been a long time. And when I say 'Party people', I mean 'Communist Party' people. Why? Well because it's their birthday! What!? You didn't know that October 1 is 国庆节？ Well now you know. Onto another topic: dads. Do you remember when you were young, you'd compare your dad to your friend's dad. "My dad drives a truck!" "Oh yeah!? My dad can fart silently and make it really smell!" So here's one that brings this post altogether: My dad is as old as China. I know, I know. You might be skeptical but check this (and wikipedia it). I wrote Dad to wish him a happy birthday. Here's a transcript: Hi Avery, Thank you We just got back from dinner for my BD. I was born on the same date the Communist China established a state. Oct 1, 1949. I am 62 now Dad Yeah, when I was around five or six, when I would mess up something or not take care of something my dad would try to emphasize that I should take care of it because it was older than me. I was really impressed. But as I got to about 10 I realized that the whole world was pretty much older than me. Happy Birthday Dad!

Family Portraits

2010-08-19T20:50:00.000-05:00

One of the things we've been blessed with is the opportunity to put on an 'English Corner' for our neighborhood; it gives students a chance to practice english in a non-competitive, informal environment. I think it's really fun because it gives a break from learning language (even though there's a lot of translation going on) and it gives me an excuse to do anything, as long as it is in english! This is awesome because my english is pretty good.

We just had our final English Corner yesterday. We did a fashion show and it was pretty hilarious. Last month we had the kids practice introducing their family. We drew family portraits together. Here's a gallery of some of the entries:

Xacto said that my brother (guess which family portrait is mine…) looks like a hippy Homer Simpson. Haha.

I'm always telling the Boss that there's a great deal of hesitation in inviting a whole bunch of kids over. I always feel unenthused when I think about how none of them take off their shoes and where those shoes have been. I feel cranky sometimes trying to come up with fun things to do. But every time it's all over I feel pleasantly betrayed: I always come away thankful for the opportunity and I always feel like it was a really fun and joyful time. It's easy to live in a foreign bubble here; it challenges your mind and your heart to move out of your comfort zone to build relationships, and even then, there's no guarantee that there's someone on the other side wanting to build that relationship with you. That is what makes English Corner so awesome. For one night, I can tell that these kids really love hanging out here with us and speaking English, even if it's super poor, and it makes me feel honored to be a part of their lives.

Funeral music

2010-07-28T11:56:00.003-05:00

I usually don't like reading posts about music. Our response to music is highly contextual. If you're feeling sad that day, then a melancholy John Mayer piece might be the greatest thing on earth, but if you need something to get you going in your workout, the latest Yanni might not do it for you. But I'm going to take a chance. Recently, I had a chance to re-listen to some old songs that I hadn't heard in a long time. As I came across this one piece I decided that this piece was something that I'd like to be played at my funeral. Since music is highly contextual, I'd ask that you imagine yourself in a place of quiet and tranquility. People are gathered, forced to ponder questions about life and hope. The mood is somber and as you look around you find yourself melting into a sea of black and grey. I especially like the beginning; it's got this quiet, mysterious feeling to it. If you're reading this and you are asked to give some input into the music at my funeral, please choose this one. Thanks!

Dirty

2010-07-18T03:06:00.001-05:00

Being clean is a dream. And I'm not just talking about here. Sure, people here routinely spit on the sidewalk. They'll pick their nose, roll up and flick the boogers, and then offer to shake your hand. Little kids run around in split pants, pooping and peeing everywhere. It's a little disturbing, actually, since you realize these kids sit everywhere that you might sit: on benches, on restaurant chairs, in a taxi. The other day, something big left a present in our stairwell. The stench was suffocating, there were flies everywhere. We didn't examine the evidence too closely, but I'm pretty sure it was an adult. So, at first glance, maybe it's pretty clear to you what I mean when I say "Being clean is a dream." But what I mean is that you really can't be clean, here or anywhere else for that matter. And lest you think I'm alluding to some sort of deeper, metaphysical meaning, I'm not. What I am trying to say is that it is impossible to be physically clean. When we talk about being clean, it is always relative to something. When I talk about whether I am clean, I'm comparing my current state to the state I'm in after taking a shower. But is that truly clean? What does it mean to be clean? If being clean means removing every speck of dirt, poop, sweat, booger, and dead particle from my body, I'm pretty sure that I'm not clean. I'm just not that thorough. Even if you used this as the standard of being clean (which is moderately low) and told me that you exceeded it, I would tell you, after you exfoliated with a pumice stone, after you filed your nails, after you trimmed your nose hairs and blew your nose, after you plucked various places on your body, after you applied Old Spice to your underarms, after all of this, I would still tell you that you weren't clean. If you are a human being, your body is in a constant state of regeneration and production. It is making new skin, new hair, new mucus; all to protect us. Our body is also constantly flushing out things that will harm us: that's why we spit, poop, pee, sweat. And all of this stuff is the stuff we are constantly try to get rid of in order to be clean. So, the moment you stop plucking, trimming, washing, rinsing, wiping, shaving, exfoliating, scrubbing, you're dirty all over again. And, I guess, to be human is to be in a state of unclean. In evaluating whether someone is clean, what we are really trying to figure out is: Is this person as clean as I think a person should be clean? When you're in a place where everyone (or you assume everyone) shares your sense of being clean, it's not much of an issue. But in the past year, it's become more of an issue for me. I've noticed that I have started to notice people smells around me, usually commenting on them, in my head or aloud, in the negative (like I don't have a smell). Or talking about how dirty outside is (like I'm not dirty). It's painful to admit, but most of the time, I'm more interested in pursuing a dreamy, unreasonable, even hypocritical ideal of clean. I'm more interested in examining someone to see if they have dirt and smelling them to see if they have an odor, more than being with someone that is like me: dirty and human, more than knowing them and embracing their humanity. I'm not saying that showering is wrong. Or that we shouldn't spend any time grooming. Or that exfoliating your skin is somehow a tool of the devil. It's a good thing to be, relatively, clean. But when I develop a horror and aversion to someone because of their perceived uncleanliness, when I am unable to pursue a relationship with them, to interact with them because I'm afraid of getting my apartment dirty, if this becomes the obstacle in knowing them… Perhaps this is why the story of Christ is so powerful. Here is a person that was clean, not just without sin, but clean in every sense of the word. He didn't smell bad, there wasn't any dirt on him. And then he became human. When we talk about loving Him and embracing Him, would we be so eager to have Him speak directly into our face, knowing that He didn't have access to a Sonicare toothbrush or Colgate Icy Mint toothpaste? Would we be put off shaking His hand, knowing He had just walked for days sweating profusely under an unrelenting sun, knowing that there wasn't a toilet paper roll to be found anywhere for thousands of miles or thousands of years? Would we cringe as He embraced us, knowing that He had touched lepers and beggars? I would hope that I wouldn't, but I'm ashamed to say that I think I would.

Mmm. Haterade.

2010-07-08T21:51:00.000-05:00

The Yankees. USC. The Lakers. The Celtics. North Korea's soccer team. Any team with Terrell Owens. The Patriots. The Cowboys. Any team owned by Al Davis.

The best part about watching some of these teams play is relishing in the loss. Seeing the disappointment in their athletic achievement is an ice-cold refreshing glass of Haterade. The experience is enhanced when you've got two of these teams playing one another so you know that one of them has to lose. I now officially welcome the Miami Heat to the menu of teams that I will love to hate.

I'm definitely not one of those guys that hopes athletes get hurt playing. No way, my friend. That kind of Haterade be way too strong. Plus, you don't want a guy to say stuff like: "Oh, I was hurt. If I was healthy we would have had a chance." You want the circle to be complete; you want the guy to try his hardest but fail in the most spectacular fashion, completely helpless in his own physical ability to prevent defeat.

This is why the neighborhood kids didn't like to play with me.

I was talking to an Ohioan about the King. He was convinced he was going to stay in Cleveland because he felt that LeBron wanted to win a championship in Cleveland and that Cleveland was really close to putting together a championship team. He also felt that Cleveland could offer LeBron the kind of money other places couldn't. The latter was true but I pointed out that LeBron probably had more money than he could spend, so it couldn't be all about the Benjamins. So he went back to talking about how even if the King wanted to be the Lord of the Rings, Cleveland was the best place to do it. I thought for sure that James was going to the Knicks, if they could put together the right team, but when I heard about Bosh and Wade being in Miami I thought that was where LeBron would go. Nothing stunning here, since LeBron already said he's going to Miami, but I thought I'd just drop that piece of wisdom for you. Like I'm so smart I can predict things that have already happened.

The problem with putting all these superstars together is that they have to win a championship. It's the way I felt when the Celtics put together their team. It's going to be fun watching the Heat, because I'm pretty sure all the other teams in the NBA are going to be pretty amped up to play them. So thanks, Miami, for expanding my menu selection. All I can think of is how many delicious cases of Haterade are just chilling in the fridge, waiting for next season to start.

While we're on the topic of basketball, I'd like to thank Chris Cohan for failing financially so that he now is looking for a buyer for the Warriors. Not only have you made the past 10 years great in terms of consistently giving me low expectations, but you've prevented the Warriors from being on any list of teams that people love to hate!

GOAL!

2010-06-26T07:47:00.000-05:00

I'm off to take a nap before I cheer my boys on, but here's a good luck post for the Yanks. The past few days I've been reading a lot about US Soccer. I've even taken the liberty of nicknaming some of my favorite players. Like Clint "Mark Young" Dempsey. Or Jozy "Slowest Black Man Ever" Altidore. Sigh. That's not very nice; I'll try to come up with a more encouraging one. But, as my wife often reminds me: I'm not nice.

One thing I've been struck by is how a lot of people are commenting on the maturity of Landon Donovan. It's encouraging to see a player feted not just for this ability, but also character transformation. I especially appreciated his insight into how his ex-wife's perspective on acting helped to transform his own perspective on competing in soccer.

This is one of the best compilation videos I've seen. Ever. In the history of compilation videos. I like this particular video because the excitement and emotion is palpable. I've had my share of sports related yelling-screaming-euphoria in my life so I can identify. My favorite is the guy that takes his shirt off and slides down the stairs. Enjoy! Extra goal if you can name the movie the soundtrack comes from. Hint: It's a movie with a hobbit in it. And one of Jennifer Aniston's exes.

Go Yanks!

World Cup vs NBA Finals

2010-06-17T21:47:00.005-05:00

We don't have a TV. But before you cry for me, Argentina, it's actually not that bad. First of all, I didn't have to buy a TV. Second, I didn't have to buy a cable subscription. Third, TV here really isn't that great. It's mostly commercials. Sure, some of it is good language practice, but then my language would consist of Chinese commercial clichés. It would be like someone saying "Set it and forget it!" every time you started talking about cooking. Or they would always insist on paying everything in 10 easy payments of $19.95. And then quietly add that shipping and handling were not included. The only reason I would want to get TV is for sports. The NBA Finals, as we are speaking, are going on right now. Even though I'm kind of interested (and I could watch) I find it surprising that I'm much more interested in the World Cup. Part of the reason, I think, is that I've seen many Lakers vs Celtics NBA Finals. True, there is a desire for me to see Kobe denied again, but I've seen these two teams win it before. The World Cup on the other hand, is a completely unknown quantity to me. I played soccer in high school (translation: I rode the bench on varsity and got some garbage time as a senior) so I have an appreciation for the game, but I don't really follow American soccer. It's mostly because:

American soccer is played poorly. By poorly, I mean MLS soccer is pretty boring. The players aren't that skilled.
The best American players go overseas to play. Which increases the quality of MLS soccer, obviously.
The national team doesn't get together to play that often, because of individual professional obligations, so it's often difficult to follow. Usually the best mediocre American players are on the national team because all the best American players are away making money. But when the Olympics and the World Cup comes around, they somehow free up time to play. Probably because all their teammates are playing for their own national teams.

I think that's why I find the World Cup much more compelling. While I find Kobe crying about losing pretty significant, I'm more interested in some of these national rivalries. I mean, if you think about it, sports are just a proxy for war. We live in a more civilized age now; it's much better to embarrass other countries by kicking a ball into a net than dropping a bomb on their capital. Don't give me any of that "Friendship and Harmony of Countries Playing the World's Sport!" (I think that was the original motto for the first World Cup played in China). If they were really interested in that, they'd take all the players and randomly create teams from them. That would be awesome.

So while the Lakers/Celtics match-up bores me, here are some World Cup match-ups that totally spin my wheels:

North Korea vs South Korea. At half-time, I heard they are planning to a re-enactment of the sinking of the submarine. Complete with a giant parade balloon of Kim Jong-Il fighting Godzilla.
North Korea vs USA. If North Korea wins I can see the Pyongyang headlines now: "Dear Leader's urine-laced sports drink enables defeat of evil imperial forces!"
New Zealand vs Australia. It's like Eli Manning vs Peyton Manning. You're either happy because you know one of them has to lose or you are happy because you know one of them has to win.
Algeria vs Egypt. Egypt's not in, but that doesn't mean I can't dream. There's this bitter rivalry between the two. This makes for a more exciting game because that means the players will be more focused on fighting one another rather than playing the game.

If you're looking for a good primer to the teams, Jeff Blum's World Cup Preview is a great start.

Dancin' on the train

2010-06-05T22:11:00.000-05:00

The word awesome, methinks, does this video injustice on the grandest scale. If you saw this video, you would immediately tell your two friends to watch it too. Enjoy!

Dropbox dropped

2010-05-10T17:24:00.003-05:00

I just discovered that Dropbox, maybe the most useful piece of cloud software ever, is blocked here. This doesn't matter so much to people that use VPNs or tunnels, but it is an interesting event. I can understand the political/social motivations for blocking things like Blogspot, Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook. It's not really clear to me why you would want to block Dropbox. Is Dropbox being used in ways that are perceived to undermine the government? I just use it for syncing files between two computers. Two computers that I own. I promise!

UPDATE 1

I posted this article to Hacker News. It's basically a voting site for nerdy news articles. A couple of observations. First, the number of Nerd Points (Hacker News, or HN, likes to call them 'karma') I had this morning was 0. Now I'm up to 167. You get points for posting and commenting. If people like your comments or articles you get even more points.

Second, it's been about 7 hours and the article is still at the top. I think the article rank system is something like highest points/minute or something like that. This is the second time I've been famous in the last 30 days! The first time was even nerdier than this. The truth of the matter is that I'm totally envious of all the cool internerds that everyone pays attention to. Maybe one day I'll be invited to the lunch table. I'll probably have to say something or do something better than posting articles on HN. Update 2 It's no longer number 1 but now I have enough Nerd Points to downvote other people. Yay! Some seriouser thoughts on this: • This is most likely related to viewing Dropbox as a source of information sharing that cannot be controlled. It is a testament to Dropbox's influence, that the government would see DB as a threat. Until DB can promise the government a sufficient amount of control over the content shared, they won't be allowed to be accessed here. (See Google) • Up until this point, the whole Google fiasco has been settled quite well.

Google didn't want to remain in China and be forced to censor content. Check.
China didn't want to make an exception. Check.
Google still has a presence in China and doesn't have to filter its content. China hasn't lost face and been forced to make an exception. Check.

Even though it's not ideal and the service gets blocked sometimes, I sense that China and Google came to an agreement together that Google's move to Hong Kong would be the most appropriate thing to accomplish the two seemingly contradictory goals. You will note that if China didn't want Google at all, they would've blocked Google in HK from day one. That's not to say that Google will never be blocked, but at this point it's safe to say that the government does not see Google as a big enough threat to warrant being blocked. • Could DB do something similar? Maybe. It seems that DB would have to reach out to the Chinese government and cooperate to some degree in a sign to show that there is a desire to be in China. Then, like Google, they could choose to pull out to HK, where hopefully there would continue to be this unspoken agreement to let foreign companies be. This might backfire in that the government might just pull the plug on all foreign companies in HK, feeling that the initial overtures were superficial and that there was just a desire to be given a certain level of access in China without having to abide by the other stipulations that other companies have. If DB chooses to cooperate, this would lead to some form of censorship (either by DB, the government, or by the users themselves) thus defeating some of the benefit of using DB. DB is fundamentally different from the service that Google offers, though, so following Google's path might not work. • This whole thing makes me sad. Chinese culture is fundamentally different from Western culture. That doesn't justify certain things but you'll have to talk to people (real people…not just read chinaSMACK) to understand better some of the reasons for these policies. The point is, though, that the Chinese government is dealing with a different set of problems with a different set of values than other Western governments. Until there are some changes in the problems or in the values, we'll continue to see different permutations of these kinds of policies. I've also seen a pattern of non-risk taking behavior here. Policies like these discourage people take chances at producing great ideas. Most Chinese comp sci students want to get a good job at a stable company. From what I have seen, and I'm still learning a lot about tech here, the lack of the entrepreneurial spirit is related to a lack in the quality of programming. There isn't the same kind of cut-throat competition that I've seen in the States and this leads to less motivation for learning the best (or better) way to do things. There are obvious exceptions to this, but in general, the motivation for someone to set up their own business is very low. It's too risky.

Being friends with other people's parents

2010-05-01T20:19:00.001-05:00

It's surreal how air travel makes the world smaller. Beijing is only 2 hours away; all the conveniences and luxuries of a Western lifestyle seem so accessible. I haven't been to Beijing in a while (2006) and it seems so different to me. It seems really modern and clean (well as clean as you can expect). Big highways, little to no dust. Lots of cars and lots of Western amenities. Cookie's parents graciously hosted me. I had a great time hanging out with them; I learned a lot, and I mean a lot, about Cookie and her parents, Auntie and Uncle Shoe. It has always been pretty easy for me to connect with my friends' parents; I've learned that the keys are listening and asking questions. Older people love to talk about themselves and love to give advice. Myself included. Being almost 32 automatically qualifies you for the "older people" crowd. Ironically, my interaction with my parents isn't the same as my interaction with my friends' parents. It's unrealistic to expect that my relationship with my parents would be the same. There's more history. There's more emotion. There's a deeper understanding about the nature of the person and the color of the relationship. These things are absent from my conversations with my friends' parents; in an absurdly unintuitive way, distance builds intimacy. In the ideal world, those that we know the best and love the most, these relationships would be the ones that we would enjoy abundantly. But this is hardly the ideal world and oftentimes we find that not knowing someone allows us to appreciate the relationship even more; the cliché . Perhaps that is why the spectrum of relationships is so wide and why even our most intimate and best relationships do not exclude the existence of others. And, perhaps, this is why the common scenario of one of your friends getting a significant other and then abandoning all of their non-romantic relationships is distasteful. Not just for the fact that they deserted your friendship (which is painful and annoying) but it shows a kind of immaturity that fails to recognize that our relational needs are deep and that they are most likely not met in the soul of one person. Even being married to the Boss, as wonderful and exclusive as it is, we both recognize that there are some things that can only be met in the other and there are other things that will never be satisfied by the other. I feel like this is a reminder by the Divine of how complex and needy we are and how gracious He is to provide for those needs in the friendship and love of others. Movie that best describes my trip: Meet the Parents

Loving commercials

2010-04-29T04:24:00.004-05:00

Most of the time, when it comes to ads, I want to run away like girls ran away from me in kindergarten. And the way they ran away from me in elementary school. And in junior high. And in high school. And in college. But I digress.

The reason why people have stuff like Ad-blocker is because they don't want to see the ads. It might seem obvious but that is the biggest reason why people want to block your ads. It's because your ad sucks. So, actually it doesn't matter if people see them or not, if your ad is uncompelling no one will want to click on it and view it. But if it is compelling then I'll want to see it no matter what.

Case in point. I run a Flash blocker when I use Safari. For the most part I find that most things Flash are just ads. Unless I go specifically to watch a video or play a game, I don't want Flash running around in my browser. But there was one time, the Flash blocker stuttered and allowed me to see a quick picture of the Ivan Brothers. They're a Capital One ad campaign and I spent some time trying to figure out who they were and what they were about.

Which brings us, gentle reader, to the amazing point which you have breathlessly waited for. Chinese people get this stuff. Or at least some of them do. I found that a lot of the ads that I see on TV are actually 30-second pieces of a longer production. For example, this Nissan commercial. Ads should be interesting; that's why they are created, to garner interest for your product. When they suck, like most ads do, people want to run away. But when they're awesome, I'm willing to watch it for more than 30 seconds.

Facebook and me

2010-04-25T09:18:00.003-05:00

In college I swore that I would never get a cell-phone. Why did I want to be at somebody else's beck and call? Plus, it would be one more thing for me to forget. After graduating, though, I moved five times in three years. I confessed the folly of my ways and began trying to grow brain tumors near my ears by subjecting myself to low-power EM radiation. I bought a cell-phone. Fast-forward ten years. I swore I'd never be on Facebook. But what do you know:

So a little bit about my friends: me and Ringo used to jam all the time, singing HK pop songs. Whenever I'd see Wai-man I would say stupid stuff like: "No way man!" And Banas… she'd always be eating bananas. I can't wait for our 25-year high school reunion!

Anyways, I just wanted all of you to know that now I have been given the power to share and make the world into three dots. (See above). Face me. Or whatever people say when they want people to add themselves to their Face list.

Wind Bathing

2010-04-16T11:45:00.003-05:00

My language class is diverse; we have students that are not only from different countries but are also from different age groups. One of my classmates is an older man from Korea (OMFK). Interacting with folks from different corners of the world is fun and interesting. Sometimes it is mind-boggling. Today was mind-boggling in the most awkward way. And for me to say that is saying a lot. Here's the almost instant replay. By the way, I know you can't read characters. I also know you can't read pinyin. If you could read characters and pinyin, I would write this story using characters and/or pinyin. But you can't, so I won't try to impress you with symbols that mean nothing to you or a string of latin characters that you would mispronounce anyway. Thus, I will relay this story to you in the language that you and I know best, good ol' American English. (Yes, I know that's a misnomer.) Without further ado: Teacher (T): OK, so what are other ways we can exercise. What about you OMFK? OMFK: Um. Well sometimes I like to "wind bathe". T: Hrm. "Wind bathe"? I've never heard of that. I've heard of people sun-bathing. What is "wind bathing"? [At this point, I'm confused and I'm frantically looking in my electronic dictionary. I can find the two characters but nothing is coming up.] Me (English) [To my American classmate]: Hey what does that mean? Classmate (English): Um. To take a wind bath. I have no idea. [So, at this point, I'm thinking I heard wrong. Everyone looks to OMFK for an explanation. His language is mediocre, so he's trying, with some difficulty, to explain.] OMFK: It's when you take off your clothes? T: Um. Huh? Me: Huh? What do you mean? OMFK: And you do exercises in front of an open window. It comes from Europe. It's really good for you. T: Ah. So for OMFK, he likes to exercise by wearing a minimal amount of clothes while... OMFK: No, NO clothes. [Awkard silence] T: No clothes while doing exercise. OMFK: Yes. It is very healthy. All I had in my mind was a picture of a naked man doing aerobic exercises IN FRONT OF A WINDOW ACROSS FROM MY OWN APARTMENT WHERE I COULD SEE HIM! I can understand doing the wind bathing...but surely you can put up some barriers for some privacy right? But I guess that would block the wind. And it would also block an opportunity for me to feel very uncomfortable.

The iPad Killer

2010-04-10T22:34:00.003-05:00

The other day my pocket got picked. I ended up losing my wallet, which was a sad thing, but this event put me into a market for an item that I hadn't truly considered. If you know me well, (or if you know me superificially), you'll know that I'm a forgetful person. The statement itself isn't completely true. The truth is, if I consider something important, I'll spend a lot of time thinking about it, and thus, I won't forget it. Like our taxes. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I could give money to my Uncle Sam, so I didn't forget that it was due on April 15th. But things like 'where my wallet is' gets a little less air time on WVRY (combination talk-show/Top 40 format). So there's been a lot of talk about the iPad these days. I'd like to introduce you to the iManPurse. This is part of my ongoing personal development journey. I'm not the same man that I was yestergay, so there's no real shame in pursuing new and different ways of living. Right? So what's an iManPurse? And how does it compare to an iPad? First of all, it's called an iMP. Just so you know. Similar to the iPad, the iMP can fit any kind of lifestyle. What we were looking for, in this case, was something that could complement the Coolness of Active Lifestyle. If this phrase seems strange, it is because it *is* strange. No matter, folks here seem to ignore English taglines anyways. So while you could get an iMP that reflected Luxury in Ageless Fashion or Fitness Mountain Tribes, I finally picked this one:

So right now it's a draw between the iPad and iMP since, I heard, you can customize your iPad by buying different apps. Whatever that means. Well let's look at battery life. The iPad gets 10 hours on every recharge. The saleslady told me that the iMP never needs recharging. Point goes to iMP. What about email? Well the iMP can carry your iPhone AND your letters from the post office. The iPad...can't carry your iPhone but it can carry your email. But it can't carry your letters from the post office. Point goes to iMP

When I touch my iMP I don't leave all sorts of nasty smudge marks everywhere. So I guess point goes to iMP here too. For cost, well I got my iMP plus a free wallet thrown in for $6.71. For the price of an iPad I could've had 74 differen iMPs. Think of all the possibilites: a jacket made of iMPs, a luxurious towel, and then maybe some handy briefs. (I don't think anyone would want to pick that pocket.)

This pretty much puts the iMP in the Top 10 Greatest Devices of All Time. I leave you with some action photos of the iMP in action.

Nice try! My wallet wasn't in my back pocket!

Check out this active lifestyle!

I ♥ iMP

Life Quizzes

2010-03-25T02:35:00.000-05:00

In college I remember it was very popular to take certain quizzes to figure out what kind of person you were. Just recently (about two years ago) I took another battery of tests to reveal to myself (and others) what kind of labels could used for me. Right now, I am taking the ultimate person-revealing quiz. It's called life. (Have you heard of it?)

But I digress. Quite recently I have been taking the Birmingham Grid for Learning Test.

It's a fun little quiz that tells you a little bit about what your particular learning styles might be. My friend wanted to know more about my score so I sent her this email. (You can enter the code on the Results page of the website).

I laughed about this for about 30 minutes. If you're interested in my real score, you can use the last code to look it up.

Post your code. I'm curious.

The Museum

2010-03-20T07:32:00.000-05:00

The merciless sun beats down in mid-August, what should I do? (Yeah, this post is a little late. But think of it as a preview for this coming summer). Normally, I might go to a mall or a local Starbucks during the hellish heat of summer. There I can enjoy someone else's air-conditioning in a clean, relaxing atmosphere, all at a low, low price of free. In this city, it's hard to find such places. But there is one that I've found that I love. It is the museum.

The museum is awesome. It's so quiet and clean. I contemplated moving me and the Boss into the museum. It'd be something like the Mixed-up Files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler; we'd hide in the bathroom, and then drink the super clean water and sleep on the ancient beds on display.

But wait… what's this? It looks like a picture of a mighty warrior, getting ready for battle. And is that what I think it is on his head? A Mullet!? (Out of respect for this awesome hairstyle, I will capitalize it). This is where the culture of the museum really shines. I can think of all the derogatory things that people say about the Mullet, little do they know that the Mullet transcends culture. It is the hairstyle of choice for warriors all over the world. See how his visage (I have no idea who this guy is) casts fear in your heart and as your eyes trail to his long flowing mane you are reminded of a flaming ball of fire. Totally sweet.

If you ever come and visit, I'll be sure to take you to this free, clean, cool place where Mullets aren't just respected, they are glorified.

I'm following you

2010-03-01T21:20:00.000-06:00

I know lots of people hate Google Buzz. I like it because I don't have to turn on a VPN to use it. Also, its right there with my email, I don't have to open another application or go to another website. It's too bad that its probably going to fizz out.

One super annoying thing about Facebook is that I always get these emails that say: "You could be cool if you joined Facebook. Look, Auntie Jenny is on Facebook. She's so cool. You could be cool too if you joined."

First of all, I already know that I'm not cool. Let's just get that out of the way. Second, Facebook, do you really know how cool Auntie Jenny is? I don't think you do. Because if you did know how cool she was you wouldn't have let her join Facebook. So there.

Along those lines I got this awesome email from Jacob.

Olympics

2010-02-27T22:58:00.002-06:00

xacto posted his opinion about the Olympics and he had two qualifications for vetting an event for the Olympics:

1) Determining a winner for the event had to be objective.
2) The event had to be athletic.

I agree with the first point; if someone is to be crowned the champion of an event, they should win without any question of how they achieved their victory. xacto's conclusion is that this would rule would disqualify a number of events, but I disagree. I think a lot of these events could be modified to be absolutely objective. Just use computers as judges. Publish a formula for calculating the score, set up a bunch of lasers and cameras and let a computer calculate the score. In addition to this, make athletes in these so-called "subjective" events submit a technical specification of what they'll perform (e.g. triple-twist, double-flip, followed by a double salchow) and factor the completion into the formula along with an evaluation of degree of difficulty.

But this raises another question. A lot of sports use human judges: basketball, soccer, football… If we are truly going to be consistent with making the competition objective, would we do away with human referees here too? Many sports purists would be horrified at this suggestion. They claim that there needs to be a human element in the game, that having human judges is part of the tradition of the sport. I think these claims are legitimate but when these same sports purists critique other sports as "subjective", it seems hypocritical.

The second point, determining the athleticism of a sport, seems subjective to me. All sports seem to evoke a level of stupidity.

You have 11 guys on each team dress up in impact absorbing material because the players slam their bodies against each other so hard that this ensures a degree of "safety". One team tries to make an oblong ball cross over a line while the other team tries to stop them. Sometimes you can kick the ball between two sticks and score that way too.

Or how about this other "sport" where you hit this little white ball with a stick. The opposing wears these pieces of leather to catch the ball. If they catch it, you leave the playing area. But if they don't catch it, your goal is to touch four white bags, in order, to score a point. If you want, you can inject chemicals into your body to help yourself heal faster. For some reason, people that play this sport think this is unfair.

I was eating dinner with my brother at some cafe in Oakland. We were having a conversation about art and I made a passing comment about a piece that was hanging next to us. I can't envision the piece exactly in my mind but I remember my comment, which tells me that it was probably a mixture of brush strokes and brush spatters, displayed with an indiscernible purpose, named in such a way to provoke a pseudo-intellectual response. "Ok, so that's something that I don't really consider art. I think art takes skill and I could do something like that." To which my brother wisely replied, "Ok, so you do that."

We kept on talking about the subject and he conceded that there are many pieces that probably don't require that much skill to do, but his point was well taken: It's not until you try to do something then you realize the difficulty and the skill that it takes. Athleticism is often determined by how people feel about a sport.

Both of these qualifications come down to the issue of subjectivity. The public outcry against pure objectivity (i.e. no human judges in any sport) would be too great, thus, to be consistent, it wouldn't be fair to subject every sport to this rule; the competitors themselves would have to agree to these rules. In reference to the second rule, determining the athleticism of a sport is going to subjective, no matter how you try to view it. It boils down to how much interest is in a particular competition.

I was at family camp one year and it became a big deal for the English-speaking high schoolers to play an "official" basketball game against the Cantonese side. I thought this was the stupidest idea ever because:

1) It pitted people against each other based on your background.
2) It didn't unify folks together.

I thought a better suggestion would have been to mix up the teams; it would have challenged people to communicate better with people they didn't know and I think it would have brought more unity.

The Olympics purport to bring the nations together but I think they are really a way for countries to show which one is the best without having to fight a war. Secondarily, I think that the Olympics are about individual athletes gaining glory and possibly wealth. It's really not about athletic competition, but that's the cynic in me.

Knowing everyone

2010-01-26T05:33:00.001-06:00

It's been more than a month since I last wrote. I was tempted to make a New Year's resolution to write more, but that would've meant:

I'd be obligated to write. I hate writing when I have to. I write here because I want to.
I'd have to come up with something to write about on a regular basis. I could write about my life, but who wants to read about that? Oh wait, the five of you.
The five of you would stop checking here on a semi-regular basis; you'd only check on the days you would know that I committed to write. Oh wait, you all use newsreaders so you don't need to check.

I've spent the last month and half in a flurry of activity. First there was preparing for the year-end language test. That was hard but I think I managed to pass. They never tell you, but somehow they manage to sign you up for the next semester! Then for the last month or so I've been working on a software project. It's been a lot of work. And things haven't turned out exactly like I thought but it's been good doing software development again. So were here at this overpriced bubble-tea/snack cafe. They have "free" wireless here. Which means wireless costs ¥30 and they'll throw in a free bubble tea drink. Except I had to buy the Boss one too, so it's really ¥60 for wireless and they'll give you two free bubble teas. One of the things I've been noticing, especially here in Guangzhou, is how weirded out I get when I see people who are foreigners but I don't know them. I feel like there's this psychological expectation that if I see someone that isn't Chinese, I should know them. It reminds me of one of my pet peeves growing up. Whenever I'd be in the car with my dad and he'd see someone about my age, he would ask me: "Who is that?" Always. I'd give him a look and say: "I don't know! Just because they look like they're my age doesn't mean I know them!" I think my dad was convinced of one of the following (or perhaps both):

I was the most well-connected, popular kid ever, and thus, knew everyone my age.
We lived in a small village.

As I look back, I realize I'm fulfilling my dad's expectation of myself. Scary. And sad. :)

Party in the PRC

2009-12-22T00:58:00.002-06:00

When I first arrived here, my classmate, who hails from Chicagorlando, asked me what was popular in the States. "I never know what's popular, " she explained, "I feel like I'm always behind the times." That's definitely me with music (but not just music). Not that I was so into music in the States. I'm no music aficionado: my music standards follow what is on the radio or what my friends introduce me to. With the power of the internet, though, I no longer have to be a pop song ignoramus. I think I'm about 3 months off of the most popular music now. Listening to Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA" (see what I said about music standards?) led me to consider buying it off of Amazon's MP3 site. This is where I found an interesting phenomenon. People will make covers of popular songs and try to trick others into buying the covers under the pretense that is the original song. One of the best is by Miles Cyrus. The lyrics are slightly different and the vocal quality is more than slightly worse. This combination makes it a tempting purchase. In the spirit of all these covers, I present my five readers my version, "Party in the PRC". If someone buys the DJ instrumental track and the Miles Cyrus version (c'mon, he put some work into it) off of Amazon and gives it to me, I will also record myself singing over this. Party in the PRC I hopped off the cab at Xingmingyuan With my wife and a stupid grin Welcome to the land of the Chinese, (woah) Am I gonna fit in? Jumped on my bike, Here I am for the first time Look to the right and I see a Chinese sign This is all so crazy Nobody here speaks English! My tummys turnin' and I'm feelin kinda sick Too much spice that they serve us, Then KFC turned up their radio and a Backstreet song was on and a Backstreet song was on and a Backstreet song was on CHORUS: So I put my hands up They’re playing my song, And the butterflies fly away Noddin’ my head like yeah Moving my hips like yeah, And I got my hands up, They’re playin my song All the Chinese are looking at me! Yeah, it's a party in the PRC Yeah, it's a party in the PRC Get to the school on my bicycle Everybody's lookin at me now Like “Whos that guy who can't speak? He's gotta be from out of town” So hard with squatties all around me Its definitely not a Western potty Cause’ all I see is big holes I guess I never got the memo My tummys turnin and I'm feelin kinda sick Too much spice that they serve us, Then KFC turned up their radio and a Britney song was on and a Britney song was on and a Britney song was on CHORUS BRIDGE: Feel like hoppin' on a flight (on a flight) Back to my hometown tonight (town tonight) Something stops me everytime (everytime) KFC plays my song and I feel alright! CHORUS

My Hobby

2009-12-18T22:37:00.000-06:00

Some people like to fish. Some people like to knit. Me, I like to surf the internet. True, I have "normal" hobbies: I like to play basketball, soccer, football, and almost any other sport where I can win. I like to write software. I like to play video games. But one of the things I really enjoy doing is being online with another friend, you know who you are, and just trading links and making smart-ass comments.

Some people take me to be an extrovert. I actually don't like the spotlight all that much. I'm pretty terrible at public speaking (although that is relative) and performing in front of others makes me anxious. But I love being the kid in the back that makes smart-ass comments.

This is one of the primary reasons why I like to surf the internet. In addition to being an information miser, I like to read other people's comments. I read a particularly touching story, today, of a Kansas man who lifted a car off a girl.

Here are the comments I read. I particularly enjoyed the last one.

Winning

2009-12-03T23:30:00.000-06:00

We had just finished playing a night game of flag football. Derek broke the silence: “That was pretty fun.” “Eh,” I replied. “I mean, it was competitive. It was fun,” he countered. “Yeah, but we didn’t win,” I said. I told him I would rather win than have a competitive game. As we got back to the apartment he asked me, “So would you rather play a group of mentally handicapped elementary school children and win or play a…” He didn’t even get to finish.

“Retarded kids.”

I love to win. And I don’t just like to win. I like to win big. I don’t like playing games where somebody says stuff like: “Well, if you didn’t get the soldier card, I would’ve won.” Or “If the ref didn’t give you that call, we would’ve won.” That’s why I play games like Starcraft where I like to pummel the computer into oblivion, setting up myself against myriads of Zerg, knowing they have not a chance as I set up a wall of Supply Depots and Siege Tanks. I laugh as I see the computer futilely throw waves upon waves of aliens against my small force of brave soldiers, knowing that my puny brain has made a fool of this calculating machine. That’s why I love playing Hordes of Orcs and watching these orcs run around, getting whacked by my awesome maze, sending them back and forth, looking for relief from my deadly assortment of ice towers, nuclear cannons, and flame throwers.

Part of this perverse delight comes from wanting there to be no doubt of victory, but I can’t decide whether I like winning that much or I hate losing that much. I think another part of not liking to play close games is that not only is there a chance of losing, but also you have to elevate your play. I start getting too serious and not enjoying myself. There’s not a lot of room for error when the game is close, so it requires more concentration, more effort, and more dependence on others. There’s not a lot of room for running triple reverses, “the star” formation, or trying to get everyone a touch on the ball. I start getting upset about the little things, since it’s the little things that start to matter. I actually hate watching athletes complain and whine about calls or even participate in games where people argue about technicalities of the game or even lie about what happened in order to gain some advantage. It makes the game less fun.

True, I enjoy watching a close game; it’s a lot more exciting than a blow out. Especially if your team comes from behind to win. But when it comes to playing games, I’d rather win big. So why is this relevant?

A couple of days ago I got out of language class. One of our neighbors had just gotten out of school too and was heading home for lunch. We were both on our bikes and at the stop light I began talking to him a little. As we rode towards home he started laughing and began pedaling faster. Sigh. Foolish boy. For a second I thought about how it would be fun for him to beat me, but this was after I had parked and locked my bike, beating him to the bike garage by 20 seconds.

Happy 30th

2009-10-18T16:11:00.000-05:00

Magical Games

2009-10-14T08:26:00.001-05:00

When I was a full-time programmer, I used to live in a bachelor pad in Union City. My friend Josh had purchased a house in a cul-de-sac and had put up a basketball hoop in the street. It was awesome. After a hard day's work, I'd load up the iPod, get my basketball gear on, and just go out and shoot. One of the benefits was that it really improved my shot, but the thing I enjoyed most was just the quiet rhythm of shooting. Sometimes it's hard to start a game here. Alot of the time it's because I'm not really sure what the rules are in starting a game. Plus, sometimes it's hard for people to want to play with the foreigner, especially since they can't tell he's a foreigner. He's just some weird Chinese looking dude that has an obvious language problem. So today I decided that I'd go out for shooting practice. I was all ready to find a court for myself. No need to try and get picked or to be invited to play. There weren't any free courts but I saw a guy that was just shooting around by himself. I decided to join him. Things were going fine…dribble, dribble, shoot. I found myself really enjoying the introversion that shooting with an iPod plugged into the brain provided. All of a sudden one guy shows up. He starts helping himself to the balls and joining in the shooting. Then another guy shows up. Then still another guy with two of his friends. All of a sudden I'm in a game. I thought it was hilarious. When I try to get picked up for a game, sometimes I had to wait for a long time. When I try to just shootaround by myself, games magically form around me.

Take Me To Your Leader

2009-10-10T05:37:00.003-05:00

Living in an international environment, it is interesting to see how, when faced with a competing viewpoint, people get pretty fierce about how great their country or culture is. There was a group of Pakistanis and a Nigerian on a bus. I know this sounds like the beginning of a racist joke but it's not. Sorry to disappoint one of you. In any case, I was on this bus and they were having a competition to see how could say Quranic verses the quickest. The Nigerian complained that this wasn't really a good competition because it just sounded like gibberish. He proceeded to chant/sing Arabic; it sounded pretty good to me. But the voices kept getting louder and louder on the bus until finally our Chinese teacher told them to (in English): "Have a rest!" It was a bit odd, but I gathered that they were trying to determine which was the more legitimate Islamic culture: Nigerian Islam or Pakistani Islam. I think the Nigerian felt ganged up on; I felt bad for him. So the competition wasn't really about Islam, it was really about which was the better culture/country: Pakistani or Nigeria. Foodwise, you'll probably find me in the Pakistani camp. It is interesting to note the fervor which nationals of non-US countries have for their country. When I think about the World Cup, I often think about how all the different countries have some sort of song or chant they say: the Brazilians, the Mexicans, the Chinese, the Koreans... I could go on forever. Except for the USA. All we have is: "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" Here are some folks trying to combat this lack of chant-power, failing miserably and resorting to their cultural default. The weird juxtaposition of Mexican-Americans cheering for Mexico over the US (or any other hyphenated American for their 'home' for that matter) is another post for another day. But the point that I've been noticing here, in country, is how most internationals have a great respect for their own country and thus there is a pride they take in the leader of their country because he, for better or for worse, represents them. While they might have some ugly things to say behind closed doors, they recognize that their leader represents them and to disparage that leader would be to insult themselves. It is ironic to me that the day our president wins the Nobel Peace Prize, many Americans are critical of it. That's not to say that President Obama is beyond critique. He isn't. But the same kind of unsophisticated criticism that the left had of President Bush is the same that the right has of President Obama. The political bickering that I often read about leads me to think that most American politicians and pundits have no international context with which to view their own comments. It's one thing to say that your president's policies are unwise or ill-conceived. It's another thing to call him liar or to hope that all his plans fail. It's not just President Obama that has received this criticism, but many of his predecessors before him. In a culture where we highly prize individuality and self-expression, we cringe at the thought that another might represent us, especially if that other is someone that we don't feel correctly represents us. Living overseas has made me realize that Americans are more alike than different, and I am very proud and glad to be one. Congratulations President Obama! May your presidency usher in an era of peace and prosperity, both at home and abroad.

Out of the Top 25

2009-10-04T02:38:00.000-05:00

When we (and I say 'we' like I actually contribute to the team) lost to Oregon, xacto lost hope. I thought it was premature; everyone can have an off day. But we just didn't get beat by USC. We got destroyed. Sigh.

I'm off the hope bandwagon. Maybe we'll get to play Army in the Fort Worth Armed Forces Bowl on Christmas. Yay.

Football and Me

2009-09-26T19:55:00.000-05:00

I've been pretty sick lately, thus the dearth of posts. I was sick for a week in early September, but now I just have a lingering cough. The Boss got sick too, but she's better now. There's the oink-oink flu scare here, so having a fever isn't good. Fortunately, we're both better now. :) (I got asked if my Boss had a fever by one of our school officials. I told her no. Which was true since she didn't have a fever when we took the Boss' temperature that morning. I wasn't going to tell her that the Boss had a fever the night before.)

I love football. I love playing football. I love watching football. I love listening to football but that's not as good as watching or playing. I thought about how to get my football fix out here. There has been some talk of getting a Slingbox , but, for now, I'm gonna do it old-school like it was when I was in elementary school. I'm just going to listen to the radio. I decided to record the Cal Bear stream and then listen to it later. For all you folks in country who care about football (currently, none of my readership) here's how to do it (on a Mac).

Make sure whatever team your following has a radio broadcast that they stream online. If you're a Cal Bear or Niner fan, you're in luck! Joe Starkey still broadcasts for Cal on KGO 810 and the Niners are on KNBR 680. Look for radio streaming.
Put the radio stream in iTunes.
Figure out what time your team is playing and let iTunes run. (Don't forget the timezone change!)
Schedule WireTap Pro (yeah, it's not free, but it's a great program!) to start recording at that time. Set it to record for 4 hours.
Go to bed.

So I did this last night for the Cal-Ducks game. I woke up, terribly excited. Like a small child that desperately needed to go pee, I sat in front of the computer clicking nervously, listening to the broadcast. As I began listening, I faced a moral dilemma: should I go and see if Cal won?

In college, I would get depressed after watching my teams (9ers and Bears) lose. I would just go to my room and mope. Sometimes I would play hours and hours of Eradicator or Quake just to dull the pain. So it's really difficult for me to choose to watch my team lose.

I decided to listen to it without the benefit of pre-knowledge. This is one benefit of living in a significantly different time-zone that is ahead: you feel like you are living in the future and that you have mutant super-powers. But I wanted to make sure I got the whole game, so I clicked to the end; that was my undoing. Joe Starkey spoke solemnly of the need for the coaches to convince the players that this was an aberration. You usually don't speak that way of a team if they had won. Since I knew they had lost I went and checked the scoreboard. They got blown out!

I am not one of those who enjoys watching the suffering of small puppies. Sigh. I don't think I can stand listening to my team getting blown out. So there goes part of my plans for today.

This is Thriller

2009-09-03T21:47:00.004-05:00

A couple of nights ago, the Boss wrote a very funny post. Unfortunately, she also mentioned Thriller. This created a temporal wormhole near my chair. I fell into it and was trapped on the Internet for about an hour and a half, observing, both in awe and disgust, all the different interpretations of Thriller that people have spent time on performing (...and watching. Ahem!). My eyes have seen the glory of Thriller from flashmobs to weddings. I even saw a pre-adolescent boy with some MJ-esque moves who danced with a headset on in front of his garage. Alas, his voice was terrible.

It was relatively easy to decide which ones were poor, but even out of the many that were excellent, it was difficult to distinguish between them. But, dear reader, I was able to find one entry that was both unique in its presentation and excellent in quality. Enjoy.

PS: It's not clear to me if everyone can view youku videos. If you can't see it, leave me a comment and I'll try to modify the video appropriately.

Dillan, I Got Your Back

2009-08-21T04:48:00.000-05:00

Hey D,

I got your manuscript! Man, that photo shoot was harsh, but I'm totally happy to publish your version of the events. It might be hard to understand your mom these days, especially with your mom speaking in that abnormally high voice. Don't worry, Auntie does it to me too. It's kind of weird actually.

Anyways, it was fun playing Starcraft with you. I didn't know you could actually play but I think that was a good trick getting Tucker to get into your crib. Alright, I gotta bounce. I'll put your comic up on my blog. Hopefully your mom will get the message: NO MORE PHOTOSHOOTS!

If you have any problems with your mom, let's talk. I'm here for you.

Your Uncle Ave

Transformers 3

2009-08-18T05:26:00.001-05:00

One of the amusing (or I suppose, not amusing, if you're a movie executive) things about this country was how quickly I saw Transformers 2 DVDs, BEFORE the movie even finished showing. (I think it's showing at the local theater, but I also think it's Mandarin only). What most foreigners don't know, though, is that there are actual Transformers here in this city. I took pictures of several and I even saw a mini-van Autobot.

I spotted this Decepticon right outside of the police station. I don't think that the police knew that Decepticons are more than just F-15 fighters!

Here is an Autobot in our bike garage. I'm glad it's guarding my bike.

And finally, there are even motorcycle police Autobots. Which makes the first picture even weirder because you would've thought that Autobots would recognize Decepticons. Overall, I think the number of Decepticons and Autobots are pretty even in this city. Which is a good thing I guess. :)

Uncle Rico

2009-08-17T14:01:00.000-05:00

Facial hair and I don't really get along that well. I always want to love it. It doesn't love me. I tried to grow a mustache last week. Here's the result.

The Boss kept on calling me Uncle RIco. Which is fine, cuz we could've won state if the coach would've put me in.

It's You, Not Me

2009-08-16T05:01:00.000-05:00

I've been a Mac guy pretty much all my life. I remember when Macs were a magnitude of awesome better than PCs (5th/6th grade). Then I remember when all my friends had PCs and got to play cool games on them. And the Mac, still pretty advanced, sucked pretty bad (7th grade to high school). Then Windows 95 came along, and the PC not only was awesome at gaming, but it was pretty good for getting things done too. I used Xacto's Dell my whole freshman year. It was challenging to share a computer, but he was gracious in giving me free rein over it. I remember when Toshi did something to screw it up and I recall thinking "I'm glad I don't know that much about PCs; I could've done that". My biggest fight with the Dell came when I accidentally emailed to my whole address book a sappy love letter. Sigh. I wanted to throw it out the window. Or hit control-Z on my life. My year-long experience with the Dell, though, convinced me to buy a Mac. I bought my first computer my sophomore year in college. It cost $1800 and I bought a 17 inch Viewsonic monitor for $300 to go with it. Sigh. Those were the days. After I graduated from college, I bought a Powerbook G3 Pismo (one of the best laptops ever made) and then a Powerbook G4 12 inch (also one of the best laptops ever made) after that. Since then, though, I now share (by marriage) a Macbook with the Boss and, recently, a netbook, an ASUS Eee PC 1000HE. It came pre-installed with Windows XP.

We had been doing pretty well with one computer. I've been able to cobble together a system where we have different user accounts but share the same music and photo library. But as I began doing more and more web work, we thought it would be best if we got another computer for times where the other person just wanted to check something on the web. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. I didn't really know XP that well, and had really no interest in trying to develop skills in understand that system. There really wasn't a low-power netbook-type of computer offered by Apple. We bought a Mac-mini first; that became our family computer with the Macbook being the mobile computer. But as we moved overseas, it wasn't that practical to have a desktop computer.

I did a little bit of research and I discovered something called Ubuntu. It was a free operating system, based on UNIX, and it was touted as being extremely user-friendly. One of the things that I'm hoping to do here is to leverage technology as a business. Piracy is pretty common-place here and I was wondering if this could possibly be polished enough to use in a work environment. So I decided to buy the netbook and install Ubuntu on it.

And after trying really hard to use it and like using for almost six months I've given up. There are a lot of cool things you can do in Ubuntu and I really appreciate its UNIX roots but it's just too much of a hassle to use.

I found that the wireless and networking configuration were spotty. Sometimes I had have to toggle it on and off to get a connection.
The suite of applications that it had to offer were as good as the ones offered for XP but not as good as the ones offered for the Mac (Textwrangler vs JEdit; iTunes vs anything-else; web browsers). Granted, there's some nerdy/programmy stuff that I could on Ubuntu that I really wouldn't know where to begin with XP, but in terms of everyday usage, I didn't find Ubuntu compelling.
The software updating system seemed cumbersome to me and I felt that, unlike the Mac, I had to conform my usage behaviors to the system instead of being able to tweak the system to enable me to work the way I like to work. Some things I did like better because Ubuntu was UNIX, but I suppose that wanting it to be well-organized was something that I've been spoiled with on the Mac. Granted, I had the same experience with XP, but if Ubuntu is just as good as XP in some areas and not as good in other areas, wouldn't that make XP the better choice?

So... now I'm officially abandoning Ubuntu. Maybe it will be more usable in a desktop environment. Or maybe version 10 will be much better. But for now I've gotten used to using XP. And I like it a lot better than Ubuntu.

Happy birthday to me

2009-08-04T20:15:00.002-05:00

I am 31. Which means I am officially old. But because I live in the future I am able to tell you what I did on my birthday even though it is still my birthday. It was a pretty normal day. EXCEPT THAT IT WAS THE DAY THAT I WAS BORN. This made it the awesomest day ever in the history of days. First, I got to play around on the computer. Then, I got to hang out with Chipmunkgeek for almost 2 hours! After that, I ate lunch with the Boss. It was a delicious meal of soup, noodles, and chicken salad. I proceeded to take a luxurious 4 hour nap. Upon waking, we went around town. First went to the street market, looking for a birthday mug. Then we went to the hip-hop store to get a birthday hat. After that we went downtown where we ate roast duck! Yum. If you know me, you will know that I lack many things, but one of the biggest things I lack is discipline. I am trying to be more disciplined this year. I'll let you know how it goes!

Stronger than a tiger

2009-08-01T04:14:00.003-05:00

Spread your fingers as wide as possible. Now curl the ends of your fingers. You have just created a claw. This is a little smaller than the size of the claw that I saw in the street market today. We were looking at these different oddities when a man comes over and tells us, with a noticeable accent, that this stuff is good as a medicine for sickness. He also told us that he was from Tibet.

Have you ever wondered if you could take on a Tibetan man? I am warning you right now. Do not even try. I asked the man what animal the claw came from.

TM: "A tiger."
Me: "Oh. Did you kill it yourself."
TM: "Here read this." (I can't read it).
Me: "Well, did you kill it yourself?" (I guess the paper said that he kills terrifying mythical beasts using only a toothpick).
TM: "Of course."

Wow. As you ponder the age-old question of whether you can take on a Tibetan man, the real question you should be asking yourself is if you can kill a tiger. I'm assuming that he didn't use a gun (guns are hard to come by in this country). Which means he used a crossbow. Or his hands. If you cannot kill a tiger, I suggest that you do not consider trying to take on this man. He is stronger than tiger. More graceful than an eagle. Faster than a cheetah. More intelligent than a computer. More hungry than a hippo.

On a somewhat unrelated note, he looked very Native American. I remember Doug B once told me that he thought Tibetans were the Native Americans of China.

Being dandy

2009-07-21T10:24:00.000-05:00

The New York Times has an article on the "Dandy Handbook". The spectrum of well-dressedness stretches from… Well... hrm... actually, I don't know really know whom to put at the ends of this spectrum. I have some specific people in mind when I think about the guys in my life and the way they dress. I'm really not that fashionably informed. Bruce Lee's wife hates my personal fashion style. I like things that are brightly colored, a little more casual (like sneakers + suit), and maybe I'm more into iconography (fashion-wise) than BLW. But seeing this book made me interested in how people determine what is fashionable. I tried to look for it on the Kindle but all I got was this .

Got Caught

2009-07-18T23:04:00.003-05:00

Dear Captain,

Recently, a certain FF has written to us concerning some of your recent behavior. We regret to inform you that your MAN-bership to the man race has been revoked. We have recently discovered that you show a large deficiency in sports knowledge. This came as a surprise to us since we have been tracking that you play fantasy football with some regularity. But, through varying channels of information, we found that you played for the expressed purpose of "...able to talk to the guys about stuff..." Your lack of passion for sports itself and your need for some ulterior motivation, such as "...not feeling dumb when guys talk about Artest...", to know more about sports shows that your are no longer fit to be a part of our organization. If you are interested in retaining your MAN-bership please make the following changes. 1. Stop reading web sites related to computer technology. While this is certainly acceptable behavior for a MAN-ber, all of our MAN-bers balance this out by reading an equal amount of sports news and/or play some sort of fantasy sport because they enjoy it. 2. Reduce the time you play your Nintendo DS. Yeah we know you do it. You don't even play sports games on it. Increasing your hero's strength doesn't make it a sports game. 3. Play an actual sport more than once every three months. In your defense, we note that you are highly competitive and have shown some competency in athletics. Unfortunately you lack discipline and are on a downhill slide in your athletic career since you are way past 30 years of age. We have informed your wife of this development. Until you are reinstated we ask that you kindly wear more pink than you have been. The Man

Ee Vant Tu Join Ze Svidish Armï

2009-07-16T04:25:00.008-05:00

I'm a sucker for news aggregator sites. It's an easy way to get sucked into the iBlackHole (aka the internet) without doing too much work looking for things that are somewhat interesting. So I got a link to this Swedish Armed Forces Test. It was fun! I want to know what other people get on this test. The whole flash site itself was interesting (and well done). Here are my results:

I scored a little above average on multi-tasking and spatial manipulation. There goes that theory about how guys (namely me) can't multitask. Another interesting thing was the tests on memory. I was able to memorize numbers way above average but on more standard tests of memory involving shapes and colors I absolutely sucked. I don't remember what the last test was. At the end of my test, the instructor informed that I may have what it takes to be a Swedish officer. Except for the accent. Post your results below in the comments section. I suppose you could do it as many times as you want but truest result is probably the first result.

Birthday Bash

2009-07-15T05:25:00.006-05:00

I don't get invited to many parties, much a less a six-year old's birthday party. So in honor of that, I made the birthday boy a gift. I wrapped it too.

I know, I know. I'm a big spender. Don't be jealous that you don't have a CerFUNTicket™. When I was younger I remember the time my dad took me to the circus. I was both frightened and awestruck at the same time. I remember riding an elephant and feeling so nervous. I was so relieved to be off of it. There aren't any elephants at the night carnival, though. To ride or to eat.

Favorite memory

2009-07-10T22:24:00.003-05:00

Xacto made an awesome gift for his wife; a list of favorite memories from friends. My shared favorite memory was so-so. But my favorite favorite memory was this one:

Mine was totally lame so I didn't respond. The most embarrassing thing that I can remember about Charis is the day I called her Felicity. Weak...

Which reminds me of another favorite memory of mine. Timmber and j810 were having a house-warming party. Timmber's parents, UncleD and AuntieV were coming out of the house. The conversation went something like this:

UncleD: [looks] Oh hi Charis!

AuntieV: [slaps UncleD and points to me] Does that look like Sam to you!?

[UncleD just shrugs, laughs, gets into the car with AuntieV and drives away.]

Awesome. I can't wait till Xacto and his wife get here. I'm SURE there will be better memories than this.

Sony + Nintendo = Not Family Friendly

2009-07-09T00:46:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I last posted. Getting blogger to work here in China is arduous. I only recently found about something called SOCKS. I still don't know how it works. All I know is that I am able to post. :) So our friends R&M came out to see us. Super fun couple. M reminds me of Elaine from Seinfeld. I told her this and she looked at me. "I don't know how to take that." I didn't know how she should have taken that either. So R asks me about things that I miss here and I told him nothing really. I had my Nintendo DS. Our conversation went something like this: R: Oh a DS. What's that? A: It's a handheld videogame system. I just put games into it and play. R: Oh yeah. What was the old called. Um... A 'Playboy' right? A: Um. A Playboy. R: Uh, I mean... A: You mean a Gameboy. R: Yeah that's it. This made me think about a hypothetical joining of Sony and Nintendo and I realized that this will never happen. For the very reason exhibited by R above.

Real American Hero

2009-06-05T10:13:00.004-05:00

Does America still have heroes? You bet it does! "You a disgrace to the man-race!" Such poetry reminds us all that in the midst of a troubled world, beauty still exists.

Superpowers

2009-06-04T11:48:00.004-05:00

When you see me you might think: "Tall guy, small head." This just hides the fact that I have mutant superpowers. One (of my many) superpower I have is an extremely strong heart. I needed to get an EKG (technically an ECG) done for my student visa application. The nurse asked me to lie down. I looked like this (but more tan): She took a test reading and she told me that my heart was beating too slow! This was because my resting rate was much lower than a normal human being's. She needed it to be up to 60 bpm (beats per minute). Mine was at 56. So she told me to exercise to get my heart rate up. I did some jumping jacks. Some windmills. Some torso twists. I jumped in place for about 30 seconds. When I laid down again, we took a reading, my heart rate was again too low. So she asked me to grab stars. I sat up and began grabbing stars. I laid back down again for another ECG reading. Still too low. She then said, in her very cute Taiwanese accent, "Maybe you think about your wife." I always think about the Boss so that didn't help. I told her maybe my heart rate would go up if the Boss yelled out me. She did and it did go up but right when we took the ECG reading it had gone back down again. Then the nurse said, "Think of something scary!" So I started laughing because I couldn't think of anything scary. And my heart rate went up! We took a reading, but had to discard that too because I was shaking while I was laughing. Finally we took a reading that was acceptable. This confirms the nature of my powers. Do you have any special powers? I doubt it. I didn't see anyone that would read this blog at the Xavier mansion last week.

Metaphysical cameras

2009-05-31T23:12:00.005-05:00

Me and the boss are well into our third week of what BL had termed "the goodbye tour". Throughout the past two months I've begun to develop a deeper appreciation for being present in the moment. There have been a lot of experiences that I had put into the box of "last time I'll ever do this". Upon further reflection, though, that phrase ought to be put into the same category as the "this is a once in a lifetime experience" or "I never ..." or "she always..." Realistically speaking these type of phrases are so extreme they end up being insignificant. For example my friend told me of this awesome conference he was going to go to and he described it as a once in a lifetime experience. But every experience is a once in a lifetime experience. There is never a single experience that we have that is exactly replicated. We ourselves are changing so there is never a time when our context is exactly the same; every experience is a once in a lifetime experience. :) I don't think this takes away from significant experiences but those experiences should be significant on their own merit, not significant because of their perceived rarity. As I go through my own list of last "once in a lifetime experiences" I have grown thankful for them. Even simple things like brushing my teeth, holding the hand of my boss, drinking a root beer, all these things, though seemingly ordinary, are extraordinary in their own right because they are what I am doing now. There's no denying that I am going to miss some things, but putting them in the category of "last time ever" makes me hold a little too long to them and creates, for me, a sense of hopelessness. We hang onto the now and the past because we cannot believe a future that is better than it. I look forward to the myriad of new experiences to see, hear, touch, taste, and feel. I look forward to enjoying the now in all it's joy and wonder, not looking behind or hanging on,realizing that the beauty of today's sunset is amazing but if it lasted forever, there'd be no way we'd ever get to tomorrow's sunset. In 2004 I got the opportunity to go to the Great Wall outside of Beijing. We didn't go to the touristy spot but instead went out to Simatai. It was amazing. The wall was more rundown here but it was so much more picturesque. Steps rose steeply against the mountainside with local peasants, their faces framed by years of sun and wind, chasing us to buy their postcards. I had my camera at the time and as I looked out I realized that no picture what would really do the experience justice. So I didn't take a picture. And since then, I've encountered many of those unKodak moments, moments so grand, beauty so overpowering it seemed almost blasphemous to try and capture them. I still love photography. I have a great appreciation for a well-framed shot that captures passion and emotion. But more and more I don't want to be an observer, I want to be a participant. So here's a top 10 list of things I enjoyed about our road trip, things I got to experience. Hopefully, none of these are last experiences. (In no particular order...) 1. Eating at the next to last Cracker Barrell. I think the first time I ate at Cracker Barrell was with Tank and his boss. It was the Lau Boss that first introduced me to the Cracker Barrell. I am in her debt. 2. Listening to all the episodes of This American Life that had been accumulating on our iTunes. Lots of heartbreak, lots of weirdness, and lots of hope. If you don't listen to This American Life, I suggest at least one listen. It's journalism at its finest. 3. Seeing a ton of windmills. 4. Stopping and eating at Murray Family Farms. The fruit was delicious. 5. Seeing Arizona desert. 6. Seeing a ton of stars as we drove through the Mojave desert at night. 7. Seeing the Colorado river. 8. Seeing the huge sky frame the grasslands of west Texas. 9. Trying to stop at Sonic around Happy Hour to get a cherry limeade. 10. I want to say being with the Boss... but that's cheesy. And it should be assumed! So I'll end with going to the beach in Santa Monica.

Showoff

2009-05-08T17:30:00.006-05:00

Today the Chinese Consulate called me. In halting, but impeccable English, the service agent asked me to call him back. I call him back and he says 喂 and I say 你好. Bad move. Once he recognizes that I can speak and I can hear, he just goes all out. At first I saw it as an opportunity to practice my Chinese but it turned into something like this (all of this is in Chinese unless otherwise noted):

CC: Blah blah blah blah... ok?

Me: Um... I'm not too clear, what happened?

CC: (in English) You filled out the death certificate instead of the marriage certificate.

Me: Uh... ok... so what do we do?

CC: Blah blah blah blah... ok?

Me: Um... I'm still not clear.

CC: Blah blah blah blah... ok?

Me: Uh... ok.

I'm pretty much an idiot. This was one of my cardinal rules that I broke. The rule is, if someone doesn't know you speak Chinese, don't. It's easier to listen to poor English and speak slowly than it is to force someone else to listen to my poor Chinese and have them speak Chinese slowly. I remember being an Olympic mascot with the Tailess Squirrel Nerd and the guy helping us was obviously from the motherland. TSN starts speaking to him in Mandarin and I immediately thought "Uh oh..." Sigh. So now I don't really know what happened. I'm hoping that he said, "I'll just correct this for you and authenticate this for you." I'm going to have to call on Monday. And only use English. That's what I get for showing off. And the guy probably wasn't even impressed.

Tap Click

2009-05-05T03:30:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I drive the Boss crazy. That's ok, though, because sometimes she drives me crazy too. When we were dating, I helped her get her Macbook and was going through the process of setting it up. She made the off-hand comment, "How come I can't just tap and click it?" A wave of fear flooded my body. I hate tapping on the trackpad. Sure, it seems convenient but it gets in the way of doing other things. Like dragging and dropping. I hate it when you're trying to drag and drop something and then all of a sudden the computer decides that you wanted to open the file instead of just dragging it to the trash to delete. Or when you want to just select something but instead you end up dragging it. Sigh. So I helped her set it up, but in the back of my mind I asked myself "Why would anyone want to do this!? It doesn't make sense!"

That is, until, I got this netbook. One observation that I had was that a lot of PC users used tap-click. I think it's because it is enabled by default on most Windows PCs but you have to actively activate it on the Mac. In any case, I got this netbook and, to my horror, I found that I started using tap-click everywhere! What is happening to me!? After I calmed down and discovered a couple things about a Windows PC that made it clearer why people use tap-click.

1. Most PC laptop trackpad buttons are harder push and more cheaply made. My thumb starting hurting a bit after pushing the trackpad button a lot. I found that it was easier just to tap-click than to push that button with my thumb. I also found that the Mac trackpad button was easier to push and had a more solid feel to the button. I hated using the netbook trackpad button.

2. I do less drag and drop on a PC. It don't know if it's because it's not as easy or because there are fewer opportunities to, but I find myself using the keyboard more to access things that I normally would have used the mouse to. So there's less need to try and drag and drop things using the trackpad and, thus, the trackpad becomes the place to tap and click.

Thanks to the netbook, I now understand the Boss much better. I recommend everyone getting one! :)

The Genius Bar

2009-05-03T02:31:00.010-05:00

If you have 20 minutes you can watch this inspiring talk from Elizabeth Gilbert.

I saw it off my brother's blog, whom I, incidentally, think is terribly gifted in a gut-wrenching way. Gut-wrenching because I feel those who are in the "creative" arts bear a weight that most typically don't; Gilbert describes it well. If you don't have 20 minutes to watch this (and I know you are either lying or mistaken because you're going to spend 20 minutes after this going to espn, craigslist, and facebook), Gilbert describes how the ancients of the Roman world used to look upon creativity.

Creativity today is seen as a product of the individual. It is a gift that belongs to a single person and when we see it, we applaud it and we quickly bronze the person and put them on a pedestal. In ancient Rome, though, those who were tasked to invent and create did not do so on their own. The common wisdom of that day acknowledged that there was something else at work in the place of the artisan; an artisan had a helper, a spirit which enabled them to do their work. This spirit was known as a genius. So when one's work amazed and delighted, there was an acknowledgement that though the artisan had a part in the creative process, it was also through the channeling of this daemon that contributed to this work. On the other hand, when it totally sucked, well it wasn't all your fault either.

Glibert points out that as we have moved away from this way of thinking. As we have embraced scientific rationalism, we have placed more and more of the burden of genius upon the individual. Today, a person is not seen as having a genius but as being a genius. This is an undeniably painful crown to wear, Gilbert points out, because what happens when your work isn't that awesome anymore? Well, you stop being a genius.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the church lately. Mainly because I have to preach in California when I get back, but my thoughts have been whirling about on why the community of believers is so important. And while I disagree with Gilbert on the source of creative inspiration, I completely agree with her that many of the problems associated with the burden of creativity are sourced in this individualistic approach to it.

At the end of her talk, Gilbert describes the origin of the word "Olé". It was a transliteration that the Moors brought into Spain of the word "allah", a word used to give praise to God for instances when one saw a work so wonderful, so amazing that it was as if God himself had done it. There is a little discomfort with that idea on my part, but it doesn't seem so far-fetched.

The things that we consider amazing, wonderful, inspiring.

Those things which cause us to gasp and exclaim.

Those things are glimpses, shadowy reflections of the divine. And they are a footnote to the creative and beautiful world we live in. A reminder that there is something, no someone, out there whose genius is not ephemeral and fleeting.

We are mistaken about genius. Genius does not occur in a vacuum. We are able to recognize genius because it reflects values that we already have. It is an expression of something we already knew but didn't know how to say. Genius requires a context and that's where this community comes in. The community of believers, in the presence of genius, removes the burden of glory from us and reminds the individual that it comes from God and that whatever feelings of passion and ecstasy are evoked in a particular work, it reminds us that this will pass, but genius will continue to be seen in glimpses and flashes amongst us as a sign that the genius of the divine is eternal. It will continue to be expressed amongst those that are made imago Dei. And when that which we create and do is not considered genius, this same community removes the stain of shame, reminding us to not to look within and but to look without and that which we labored on and for does not find its value intrinsically within itself but instead finds its value in One who himself creates. It is no wonder, then, that offerings made, in the Christian tradition, are embraced and accepted not because the thing given but because of the one giving.

Craigslist

2009-04-30T15:15:00.005-05:00

We're moving. Yay! And sigh. We're trying to get rid of all of our stuff. I think we'll be successful. I just posted a bunch of stuff to Craigslist and I hope people are cool about it. I got these weird wackos asking to buy my stuff, but giving me all these weird deals. I can't really fault them though. I'm hoping it all sells on Craigslist because then I won't have to try and eBay them. If you're a weird wacko, maybe you're interested in our stuff:

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/hsh/1147964812.html (household items)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/hsh/1147972973.html (household items)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/hsh/1147982580.html (household items)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/for/1148002029.html (general for sale)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/clo/1148004244.html (clothing & accessories)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/clo/1148006207.html (clothing & accessories)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/hsh/1148010299.html (household items)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/sys/1148024639.html (computers & tech)

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/sys/1148068280.html (computers & tech)

Man of God

2009-04-24T18:24:00.003-05:00

The Boss and I have been selling off our stuff. I suppose I could post the list of treasures that we have to sell at recession busting prices. But that's for later. Anyways, there were three folks interested in what I had to sell so I told them I'd bring the stuff down to the seminary on Monday. Here is a paragraph from that email (with the names edited for privacy):

I prefer cash. If you decide you don't want what you asked me to reserve for you, please let me know. I look forward to meeting you guys soon. [A Thai sounding name], if you are a woman, I apologize in advance. Hrm. I suppose I should also extend that apology to B* and P*, even though your names are traditionally male names for English speakers.

The Thai person responds with:

That sounds good. I am a man of God so you did not make any mistake

I wish I were a man of God.

nwcmptr.exe

2009-04-23T04:35:00.003-05:00

Whoa. I just noticed that there's a tab in the Blogger interface called "Monetize". Interesting. It's spring again. That means most of my brain melts and pours out my nose. Actually, that would be nice. Instead it makes itself comfortable in my sinuses, eking out a living as super-thick nose jello. I can't wait till spring is over.

So I've been playing around with netbooks. I like them because they are small and they are relatively cheap. The Boss gave me permission to get one because

I told her that I'd use it for work.
It would give us two computers to work on but still allow us to keep one main computer.
It wasn't that expensive.

So it's been a while since I've been on a Windows computer. The last time I was on a Windows computer for a significant amount of time, I was rooming with another guy, Notorious BIG was killed, email was still fun, and I wore a pumpkin to one of my math classes. It is amazing, then, how much on Windows hasn't changed. The graphics are a little snazzier than Windows 95, but all of the confusion, obfuscation, and frustration are still there. But let's start with what I like!

1. I like that even though it's pretty confusing, Windows XP is pretty customizable. I was able to remove all of things from the Start menu that I didn't need or want, and I was able to customize (for the most part) a lot of the UI. But this was pretty hard to do.

2. I like that I can use Google Chrome. It's a pretty awesome browser; fast, clean, and fun to use.

And that's about it. On the hardware side, I like that my ASUS 1000HE is small and light; it's really easy to carry. It's got a pretty good keyboard for it's size. It's got really good battery life (about 7 hours of normal use). And it's cheap!

And I really think that's the big selling point for Windows. It's cheap. Most people I know that use Windows have pointed to the cost as a significant characteristic for them in decision making. And a lot of the issues that I have with Windows aren't an issue for them. Things like how the system tray is cluttered with things that I don't need. I mean, do I really need an icon telling me everytime I use a trackpad? Or how, when I try to figure out what startup items I can delete, I get names like ImScInst.exe.

To be fair, things on the Mac or Linux side can get like that too. But, at least for the Mac side, most applications are self contained. They don't have a hundred different files in different parts of the system. When you want to delete a program, you just delete it. And the name of the program is something reasonable. Like Microsoft Entourage. As opposed to msimn.exe.

There are very few apps on the Windows side that make me think: Wow, they took a lot of time to get it right...and it does a bunch of cool things. The apps that I have seen that I think are relatively well done fall into two categories: Microsoft apps and games. Most Windows apps look ugly and aren't fun (this is admittedly subjective). And I think this says a lot about the development culture related to the two platforms.

So I guess the big question is "Well if you hate it that much, why did you spend $400 on it?" Well, because it was cheap!

A Link to the Past

2009-04-15T16:49:00.003-05:00

amsomnia Is it presumptuous to enjoy my own writing? Well, I do. It's interesting reading some of the older entries. There was a time when I compared my writing then (circa 2005) to my writing way back then (circa 2000) and I found that there was a greater distance between the two. I used to be embarrassed about my older writing but (at least now) I don't find it as humiliating. (Maybe I should be embarrassed). I especially enjoyed my posts about dating.

Tenebrae

2009-04-11T23:54:00.005-05:00

Judas, Peter because we are all betrayers, taking silver and eating body and blood and asking (guilty) is it I and hearing him say yes it would be simple for us all to rush out and hang ourselves but if we find grace to cry and wait after the voice of morning has crowed in our ears clearly enough to break our hearts he will be there to ask us each again do you love me

Luci Shaw If you know me, you know that I'm not much of a holiday guy. For the most part, it's because I feel they are commercialized. Holidays aren't special or sacred; they're just an excuse to sell me something. And, I admit, that's a very cynical view. I've met people that look at me with horror and pity as I tell them that I disdain Christmas. First they ask if I am an adherant to another religion: “Are you Buddhist? Are you Jewish?” Then, after finding that I am a Christian, their strategy changes. “But I love it because it's a time to spend with friends and family!” they exclaim, trying to persuade me from my grinchian point of view. “And what about the birth of Jesus! That's important! He's the reason for the season! <Insert any other clever phrase that you may have seen on a bumper sticker from a Christian book store>” And that, my friend, is why I absolutely love Good Friday. Here is a holiday whose purpose cannot be touched by commercialism. Who in their right mind what put on a “Death of Jesus” 50% off special? What kind of marketing genius would try to get people to buy crown-of-thorn shaped cards to give to one another? Or have a special “vinegar sponge” drink to commemorate the event? No, the sanctity and significance of this holy day are preserved, ironically, through it's horror and sorrow. We went to City Presbyterian Church in Denver. The minister shared a bit about his past. He was from Alabama and talked about the significance that the Martin Luther King Jr. memorial had for him. The most significant thing, though, for him was the shell of a burnt out Greyhound bus. He grew up in Anniston, Alabama and it was during the Civil Rights Movement that a group of citizens, both white and black, decided to go on a freedom ride. As they got into Anniston, they were heckled and jeered at, so they got back on the bus and continued away from the town. A group of white men followed, though, and shot the tires out of the bus. They began to burn the bus with the people still inside and barricaded the door, but as the tank threatened to explode, they retreated, allowing the people inside to escape. In looking at the blackened metal bus frame, the minister explained that this was the legacy of his hometown. Racism, hatred, shame. And those were the things that he felt attributed to him through this symbol. The connection to the cross was an easy one. I've come to realize that the cross is that symbol for me. It certainly is a symbol of hope, renewal, and joy, but it carries with it a bare, raw, unadulterated sense of shame, pain, agony. Things that are because of me. And as I thought of the feelings that flowed through the minister as he recounted the legacy of his hometown, the feelings of sorrow, pain, guilt in their stark reality, I realized that the cross should do those things for me, but oftentimes doesn't. That's why I love Good Friday. Here is a sacred day where I am reminded of the magnitude of my darkness, the magnitude of my shame, the magnitude of my sorrow, and the magnitude of his grace. It is in the solemn darkness that I can reflect upon Christ's goodness to me and that magnifies the brightness of God's love and his glory.

More News

2009-03-29T17:36:00.003-05:00

I continue to find my way into the mainstream news media. The NYTimes portrays me as a bit more fashionable than I'd like. But any publicity is good publicity. (Look...they even talk about the rule named after me!)

Looking Oriental

2009-03-27T13:12:00.004-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, my in-laws came into town. I love my in-laws. They're a pretty fun couple but they also give me enough space too. And I need my space, because grumpy old men need their space. That's why they yell at the kids to stay off the lawn. We had brunch at Breadwinners, which was pretty good. In the middle of brunch, we were trying to figure out what time the JFK Memorial Museum opened. I promptly called Goog411 on my iPhone Nano and stepped outside to hear better.

While I was on my call, an old woman slowly made her way around the corner. And then she stopped and it appeared me to that she started to yell. I was a bit confused so after I finished my call I asked her if she needed any help. "No," she said, "I was just yelling at that truck because of the way it was backing up." Then with a quizzical look she asked, "Where were you born?" And I said, "Oh, I grew up in California." Then she paused and proceeded to allow a confused look to spill over her face. "Well," she began, "did you know that you look Oriental?" And then I became confused.

Usually when someone says you "look" something, it means that you appear to be that something but they really know that you aren't. So I was confused. Did she think that I was Caucasian, but just had strong "oriental" features?

I answered her, "Um. Well I could see that..." Then she followed up, "Well your English is very good. How do you think you got to look like that?" This was the most confusing statement. So she says my English is very good, implying that she didn't expect my English to be good and thus that I wasn't born in the States. But then, by her second statement, she implies that I am not what I look like (i.e. "oriental"). "Um, it probably has something to do with my parents. I don't know." I quickly replied. The whole time I was trying not to smile. The whole conversation was funny. Almost as funny as the two long white whiskers growing out of her chin.

Carpet Pool Part 2

2009-03-18T18:39:00.003-05:00

For those of you without a browser that can render jpg images. Ahem.

Carpet Pool Game

• Place balls as shown on diagram below.
• Take turns using Q-ball to knock your opponents balls off before they knock yours off.
• First one to knock all 5 balls off opponents end,

WINS!

I have so many questions. All of them questionable in their appropriateness. Please post your questions below. I am curious to see if they are the same as mine.

Carpet Pool Part 1

2009-03-17T21:44:00.003-05:00

The boss and I are packing up things. Today we scanned in all our DTS notes. The boss saved some pics. Here's me and Nate at camp. Man, being a counselor was fun!

Tune in tomorrow to see how to play Carpet Pool!

Old Man Me

2009-02-28T16:23:00.003-06:00

So I'm having a pretty successful sabbath. It's so relaxing to be able to do something without any sort of time constraint. I've been running out of pages in my Moleskine, so I decided to buy another copy of it plus some Chinese flash cards. I really like the Moleskine notebooks (I get the non-ruled kind) because I feel it gives the freedom in sketching out ideas, models, etc. I've found that I'm not much of an artist, but I really enjoy diagramming and using visual space to organize my ideas. This morning I went to play flag-football. And, (I've actually known this for a long time), I'm getting old. Of course, everyone is getting old. If you're not, that means you are dead. But I guess if that dead body is still you, then you're still getting old. Anyways, back to flag football. I had a couple of great plays, but I just run out of gas so quick. And then my lower back started aching. Sigh. I'm looking forward to playing basketball tomorrow with the fellas from church. I wonder if that will be different. Afterward, the Boss and I went to see Lily play basketball. She's super scrappy. It's a lot of running up and down the court and missing the basket. But it plays a lot like a soccer game. Every basket counts! The final score was 8 to 6. Lily hurt herself too, but I don't think it was because she was feeling the onset of old age. I crab sometimes (act crabby, as opposed to any other connotation "crabbing" might evoke) just to be old-man like. I think acting like an old-man is funny. You get to pretend you don't hear. You get to yell at the kids to get off the grass. I don't know that I'll think it will be so funny in the future. I supposed that some of the humor comes out of the situation. Here is a person that feels a sense of entitlement to what he expects. And if things don't go his way he gets upset. Yet he is unable to do anything physically about it because of his age. Very similar to a newborn. Except more wrinkly and less cute. But it doesn't have to be that way, I suppose. But I'm still looking forward to it!

Anti-technology

2009-02-27T09:59:00.008-06:00

When I was in college (in a galaxy far far away) I remember there was this new cool product; the cell phone. As more and more of my friends got one, I promised myself that I would never. It was a very insidious device; it would ring at the most inappropriate times. And every time it rang, the person had to answer right there. Even while they were doing their business right next to me! And it got worse. It seems that when you got a cell phone, people would except you to be accessible all the time. It wasn't like you could just have a home phone and people could leave a message on your answering machine (remember those)?

But after moving 4 times in 3 years, I finally broke down and got one. And, I'll admit, the cell phone has changed my life, for the better (I think). But that whole episode made me realize that I'm something of an anti-technologist. Which is ironic since I am (by training) a computer programmer and have a more refined insight into computer technology than the average person. I remember when the iPod came out and I was working at Apple, I was like "Who is going to buy this thing? It'll never sell." I only got one later because Apple offered all of its employees the chance to buy one at a steep discount. Good thing I wasn't a decision maker at Apple. Haha.

And when the iPhone came out, a number of people asked me when I was going to get one. Psh. I already have the iPhone nano, I don't need that. Or want it. I'm not on Facebook, I don't believe in Twitter. I'm not such a Luddite that I won't consider something new, but it's got to have real value. It can't just be one more thing that I have to add to my to-do list.

I think that's one thing about the Mac platform that really appeals to me. I feel like it has real value. There are a whole bunch of pragmatic reasons why you shouldn't by a Mac, but if those reasons aren't your reasons then I think a Mac is a great purchase. One of the things that I've noticed too is that there are more people passionate about the Mac than there are people passionate about Windows. Even percentage-wise I would say this is true (this is all anecdotal of course). But I think this is reflected in the kinds of software that are available. I remember doing a little googling a while ago to look for grade-A Windows developers and their products. Folks that really loved what they made and paid attention to detail to make their products awesome for XP or Vista. I really couldn't find any. Most Windows programs that I've seen don't seem to take a real disciplined look towards design and ease of use; compare SmartFTP to Panic's Transmit (screenshots at the bottom). And, I really haven't seen a program for Windows that was fun! And I'm not just talking about games. I'm just talking about a program where you just wonder, why hasn't it been this way the whole time?

That's why I love software on the Mac. And that's why I love trying out new software. There's very little obligation and it's really cool to see what kind of innovation people use to solve a problem. So one of my latest experiments in software is eschewing Firefox for Omniweb. It's been fun trying out something new, but we'll see if I got back to tried and true or not.

Credit Crisis

2009-02-21T14:14:00.007-06:00

The boss told me the other day that she didn't really understand the economic crisis. I don't fully understand it either but I found the following video to be helpful. I was listening to NPR the other night and a program talked about the sense of outrage and desire for justice that many Americans have in relation to the crisis and the bailout. Basically, many people are saying "I was a good steward of my money and I don't have to foreclose on my own home. How come my neighbor, who bought a house bigger than he can afford, gets a bailout because he made a stupid purchase?" I fully empathize with this sentiment, but there are a couple things that this complaint is missing. First, this is an economic problem right now, but it could quickly devolve into a social one. Since this affects everyone, even people that were good stewards of their money will find themselves in difficult financial situations. Prices may rise, jobs will get scarce. So, even though your neighbor made a stupid mistake, the question is how far will we go to have them reap the consequences of those actions. Will we allow those repercussions to affect us? The second thing that the program brought up was that people make stupid decisions like this all the time and yet society has already decided that dealing with the problem first is more important than determining justice, at that point. Examples are things like smoking in your bed and then your house catches on fire. The fire department will come right away and put out the fire. They won't sit there and try to figure exactly how much you should suffer and whether or not you can afford to have them come and put it out. In fact, even though your neighbors will be annoyed at you, your neighbors want the fire department to save your house because there are ancillary benefits to them. Another example might be going to the hospital in the event of an emergency. In the mini-video, it shows some people walking away from their homes because their mortgages are more expensive than the value of the house. First of all, I think that's wrong. The person borrowed $300K to buy the house. They ought to pay it back. Second of all, the price of something is only worth determining if you are going to sell it. If you want to live in your home forever, then the price that you paid is what it's worth. (Sure, you might want to borrow against the amount of money that you own in the house and that might determine it's current value, but that presupposes that you are willing to move out of your house. Which is the same thing as selling it…) The most interesting part of the NPR program was that an ethics expert (what's an ethics expert) commented that people are clamoring for others to get what they deserve, but if everyone got what they deserved, we'd all be in hell. I don't have any reason to believe that this comment was made with spiritual/religious implications, but I thought it was interesting that even in this economic crisis there is a necessity for grace. The program reminded me how I am inherently ungracious and undeserving and I need to extend grace to others.

How to Save a Life

2009-02-19T11:45:00.009-06:00

Over the past two weeks I've had to face the reality of death. One of the Greek professors at Dallas seminary died unexpectedly and a guy that I knew growing up died of cancer. On the flip side, a woman from my church who was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia recently found a bone marrow donor. As I read accounts of and talked to people who are intimately connected with these events I have felt the weight of death and the brevity and volatility of life. I commented to my wife that Jodie and Alex were probably like us a year ago: trying to get the daily things done, enjoying time with family, etc. But in the space of a few months, their lives were tossed all around. It makes me wonder what kinds of things are in store for me, how different life will be in the coming months, weeks, or even days. You just can't plan for stuff like Severe Aplastic Anemia. Or throat cancer. Or death. The campaign behind finding Jodie's donor was amazing. Our church did a bone marrow drive. There's a ton of bone marrow drives going on now. Jodie's sister put a ton of energy into mobilizing people and spreading the word. She used everything at her disposal. I got multiple requests from her to forward a request that people get registered for bone marrow donation to everyone I know. That's a lot of people. And even though I wasn't comfortable to forward it to everyone I knew, I really admired and appreciated the lengths that Jodie's sister went to help be part of the plan to save her sister. I would have done the same. So I asked Jodie's sister if she would mind that I post her email to my blog because, I reasoned, people come here to read something rather than having something pushed to them that they may or may not want. But we got the news this past week that she found a donor. I encourage you to go to their site: savejodie.com. It's not as dramatic as the email but I think it communicates the same information. One of the striking things about this campaign was the fact that a match would most likely come from someone like Jodie; someone who was ethnically Asian. It didn't surprise me, though, to learn that there were very few Asians on the donor list; if it doesn't help you make money or get good grades why do it? Haha. I think that a lot of that has to do with culture. Chinese culture is very tied to taking care of your own. So you would take care of your own family, but taking care of a stranger is not a value intrinsic to Chinese culture. There are other concerns of course; Felicity and I talked about how, if we were matches, that might affect our timeline in planning to move to China. In the end, though, both of us agreed that this was an opportunity for us to help save someone else (Jodie or otherwise). That was what made this campaign compelling. In the Christian faith we talk about imitating Christ and following His example. Bone marrow donation (or any type of bodily donation) is but a shadow of the redemptive, life-giving, life-changing of Christ. Where he gave his body for us, here was an opportunity for us to give our body for others. I am thankful for this small opportunity to possibly be part of something so significant in my own and someone else's life.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T22:19:00.005-06:00

If you don't already know, I don't like celebrating any holidays. I especially abhor the ones whose primary purpose is to separate me from my money; VD (I think that the initials are not a coincidence) falls right into that category. I'll admit it: I'm something of a bah humbug. The wife always asks me, "Why are you always being like an old man?"; I can't wait till I'm old so that I can say, "Because I am." But it's not just VD. I'm like this around Christmas too. I read a xanga post by DC who basically said he loved the gift giving during that time of year because he got great pleasure from seeing other people react with delight to their gifts. I think there's something to that sentiment. But I figure, if you love that so much, just give gifts whenever you want. There's something in Christmas that builds up a sense of entitlement or obligation (for the receiver and the giver). But I'm getting ahead of myself. 10 months ahead of myself. So you want to know the true meaning of St. Valentine's Day? If Valentine's Day were celebrated in its rightful historical context, we'd have a way awesomer holiday. The legend goes something like this: As the early church was growing, it was looked upon with curiosity by the Roman public at large. The cult had grown out of its provincial roots in that backwater of Palestine and had spread throughout the Empire. Rome, at the time, had a tradition of considering their emperors as gods; Christians abhorred this and refused to worship the emperor. This particularly incensed Claudius II and he decided to punish the Christians. He made a proclamation that anyone adhering to the Christian religion was forbidden to marry, since Christians were known to marry incestuously. This came out of a misunderstanding of the terms that Christians often referred to one another, as brother and sister. In defiance, Valentine began marrying Christians that wanted to be married. Claudius heard of this and imprisoned Valentine. Valentine was offered a release if he would just say that the emperor was divine. The emperor's messengers pleaded with him, telling him that he didn't have to believe it, he just had to say it. Valentine was brought before Claudius with the emperor's offer and he refused, saying that if his heart belonged to God then so did his words. The emperor was furious and immediately jumped out of his throne with dagger in hand and cut out Valentine's heart, proclaiming to the court: "His heart is mine!" Terror swept through the Christian community and that very day all of the husbands of the couples whom Valentine married were brought before the emperor and were given the same offer. The next day each of the wives received a small gift. The bloodied heart of her husband. This isn't some candy heart that says "Hug Me" or "Too Sweet". This was a heart that was a picture of heroism, sacrifice, loyalty and devotion. (Cue the LEGENDARY ROCK anthem). And not to something as droll and mundane as the picture of love given to us by or Maid in Manhattan or 27 Dresses but to something greater. Alas, Valentine's Day has been co-opted by popular culture and turned, instead, to an expensive day for couples and a lonely day for singles. I look forward to the first real Valentine's Day movie. Maybe they could get Bruce Willis to be St. Valentine. Or Samuel L Jackson. For a more traditional look at Valentine's Day read what my wife has to say.

Marketing Fail

2009-02-11T16:35:00.000-06:00

Here's a list of rejected names for a singles social group (aka young adult church fellowship): Lonely Together Just Friends All by Ourselves Le Meatmarché I was told that guys (single or not) might find this funny but women would not.

Is this forever?

2009-02-04T11:10:00.005-06:00

I'm on a YouTube posting binge. I ♥ this kid.

在北京

2009-01-25T16:33:00.008-06:00

The New York Times recently ran an article on Chinese hip-hop. I thought it was fascinating how there was a "poppy" version of hip-hop and a more grass roots, "authentic" version of hip-hop. So I started looking for this song and came across a lot of mp3s that were Chinese opera. But I finally found this song both in mp3 format and on Youtube. The other interesting thing was that this version on Youtube is a cleaned up version of the, I'm assuming, original song. Here's my translation of this version. The whole rap reads like a commercial advertisement for Beijing. Which is really interesting because I took a look at the lyrics for the "dirty" version, and it seemed way more real. For instance there's a line in the dirty version that says, "In Beijing, there's dog poop everywhere." And the line in this version that says "Everyone rides a bike" is "Everyone has had their bike stolen." This probably had to do with getting their rap approved to be broadcast, but still, in translation, there was a lot I didn't understand. A lot of it had to do with being unable to differentiate whether something was the name of a place or it was actually trying to describe an object. Language is so interesting… So, I don't really feel like these lyrics are so awesome but I do think the song is catchy and I like the way they filmed their video. The original lyrics are probably better. (On a side note, I feel weird translating this. There are a lot of Chinese phrases that just sounded stilted in English. I can see why a lot of signs get translated so weirdly; even if your English ability is high, it's hard to find a good translation…)

Intro: Have you heard of Yin Cang? (隐藏) Uh…I'm not sure. Have you heard of Yin Cang? What was that? Uh…no. Have you heard of Yin Cang? Where is Yin Cang? [pause…] In Beijing, word… (the funny part of this is that the guy literally uses the Chinese word for "word") In Beijing, you're walking on the capital streets. In Beijing, there's tons of hot girls. In Beijing, incense sticks are in the temples. In Beijing, cruising in your hood in the HuTongs. In Beijing, go to the Forbidden City to study history. In Beijing, there's stuff to buy like a t-shirt. In Beijing, Tiananmen square is too big. In Beijing… You don't understand. My house is right on the eastern gate, Their house is on the college street, All of us go everywhere so you better hide cuz there's nothing in BJ we don't know. The whole ocean is a school with a computer store. [I have no clue what this means] At the intersection of the fifth road is where all the foreigners buy their CDs. At night you can go into the ocean, go to a village three miles away to drink a little, Both places have karaoke, [something that I reveals my lack of knowledge in Chinese] At night, not only is there dancing, drinking, talking but there's other stuff to do too. On the next day, when you get up from bed you'll [feel like you're walking on air?] Taxis have two prices: 1.20 and 1.60. Traffic is usually ok, but sometimes there is traffic. No need to tip at the restaurants. Roast duck and noodles, on Gui street you eat hot pot, oh my god there's too many choices! When you get up you smell the mountain fragrance, you feel the immensity of nature Don't forget when you come back to go to the Summer Palace. BJ University has friends and really hot girls, On ChengFu street there's a train you can go into downtown on. In Beijing, that's where the 2008 Olympics will be. In Beijing, it's getting more and more pretty. In Beijing, there are lakes and rivers. In Beijing, everyone rides bikes. In Beijing, China's capital. In Beijing, winter's a little cold. In Beijing, there's the People's Heroic Memorial. In Beijing, you know it now! You can buy cellphones at the gate. You can buy clothes at [another location somewhere in BJ] You can get lost at BJ's west train station. From [some place] to [my poor Mandarin again reveals itself]. At SanYuan bridge they sell old electronics. Fifth Ring Road, you'll get through traffic soon. The Fourth district has so many roads, I can't tell them apart. Zhaoyang district has the embassies, the street has big trees. Long distance bus stop busses are on the expressway. The royal well is really clean. The Eastern Frontier Art Gallery is really peaceful. [Some other places and how great they are] BJ welcomes everyone to come back.

Dear Fantasy Football

2009-01-13T20:57:00.006-06:00

I'm sorry. I know I let you down. I started the season on a high note. I told everyone how much I loved you, how I would have to commit to limiting my time with you because, without limits, I would kill myself by spending an overabundance of time with you. And, to be honest, I thought you were perfect. Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Baseball, they asked for too much commitment. Nobody really hangs out with Fantasy Hockey. And Fantasy Soccer? I didn't even know Fantasy Soccer was around. I mean, look at last season… I played in three leagues and came in first, second, and third in those leagues. I would have come in first twice, but Brady had a bum game and I lost by 3 points because of an interception. So this season, I bragged a little about us. I thought I could do five leagues…I figured if I did work for one league, how much harder could it be for five leagues? Well…I know it really hasn't worked out this season. I started strong with a pretty good draft. But then Brady got hurt. And then Larry Johnson didn't perform. And, I'll be honest, you just weren't the same FF that I remembered. And I'll admit, things are different now. I don't get to Tivo a bunch of games and watch them in HD…and it's hard to really connect with players and get pumped to really get into you. Plus I got Real Football hanging around with folks after church. Things aren't super serious, but it was just one more thing to add to the laundry list. I've actually thought a lot about you. And there's a lot about you that I didn't get. Like how even though there were some superstars out there, doing statistically awesome, Real Football didn't depend on Fantasy Football so much. I mean, even if a dude throws for 300 yards, 3 TDs, and no interceptions, his team could still lose. Week after week, a guy could run, catch, score, but the ultimate goal could remain unattained. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised right? I mean, you're first name is Fantasy, not Reality. And, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm seeing this other girl. She's funny. She's smart. She's beautiful. And…well…we got married. Shocker right? And I should've told you. I should've called you. I should've invited you. I just thought maybe we still had something this season… But it's really not the same at all. I have to watch real, live games to really get into you and I'm not able to. Anyways, I just wanted to say it's me and not you. You're the same, year after year. I'm the one that's changed. I know that right now you're probably hurting and that this probably doesn't help at all. So I'm calling it off. I won't call you and you definitely shouldn't call me. It hurts me too, but I think it's the best for both of us. But I know that there will be a time in the future when you'll look back at this and just laugh. And maybe I'll even be there to laugh with you. Wishing you the best…

Holiday FAQ

2008-12-16T06:58:00.006-06:00

My dear students, As of late, I have been inundated with many of your questions. I assume that this has some relationship to the holiday season. I have compiled a list of these questions as well as others I have anticipated. If you have any questions, please consult this FAQ first. 1. Can we just sit around and talk? No. 2. Can we do something fun? Prepping for the SAT can be fun, you just need to change your attitude. 3. When are we going to the computer lab? If I said that we are going to the computer lab, I promise you that we will eventually arrive at the computer lab. Please do not ask any more questions; if we are not at the computer lab at this very second, it is because we are not finished with whatever I had planned. If I have not said that we are going to the computer lab, then we are not going to the computer lab. 4. That isn't fair. First of all, this is not a question. Second of all, you are correct. Nothing about school is fair. You have to dress according to the dress code. You have to obey your teachers. You get a free education at the expense of adults who go and work. You get to learn in a safe, moderately comfortable environment. This is not fair. If you want, though, I will put a requisition in to transfer you to a labor camp in another country. 5. Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes. But only because my wife makes me. If my wife didn't make me, my mother would make me. 6. Are you some sort of atheist then? No. I am a follower of Jesus Christ. If you wish to know more about my own beliefs, please ask me after class. This is not an appropriate topic for our class during class time. 7. If you celebrate Christmas, can you give us no homework as a Christmas present? First of all, if I gave you a Christmas present, I would also have to give out a Hanukkah present, a Kwanzaa present, and perhaps a Ramadan present. In an effort to be equitable, I will not give out any presents. Second of all, you are assuming that no homework is a good thing. You are wrong. Homework reinforces principles learned in the classroom. Please remember that you signed up for this class; many other students dropped this class during the first week. For whatever reason, you chose to stay. 8. Can I go to the bathroom? Yes. Please remember that I will deduct a participation point for that. 9. Can I go down the hall and get a bottle of water? I am really thirsty. Yes. Please remember that I will deduct a participation point for that. 10. I have permission from my parents/another school administrator/my legal guardian to leave class early. May I go? Yes. 11. I have a medical emergency. May I go see the nurse? Yes. 12. I would like to do something that

is not required to save my own life or the lives of others
has little or no relationship to preparing for the SAT

May I do this? No. 13. I would like to do something that

is required to save my own life or the lives of others
has a direct relationship to my success on the SAT

May I do this? Yes. 14. Why are you so mean? Yes. 15. Do you hate us? No. I enjoy teaching this class very much.

A New Beginning: The Cabinet of Justice

2008-12-05T13:30:00.005-06:00

Good day to you, my fellow Americans. It is with great joy and satisfaction that I officially announce my bid for presidency. I am a bit late for the 2008 election (even though it is still 2008) so my campaign staff and I have set our sights on 2012. With respect to the 2008 election, then, I concede to Barack Obama. Our president-elect has a heavy and arduous task ahead of him. One of the benefits of conceding now is that I will not have to clean up this mess and can jump on the bandwagon of prosperity in being the president in 2012. So I think I get the silver medal this time around. Sorry Senator McCain. The next four years will be tough. Through this blog, you will be given insight into my monstrous and obfuscated mind. It will be easy to see how I make decisions and how I don't make undecisions. Through this process of looking at latin letters and relying on skills learned as a child (aka reading), you will develop a taste for the kind of president I yearn to become. I promise you, fellow Americans, that I will not let you down in my quest to make you think the same way I do. This blog will continue as it always has: as a poetic reflection of my life. But once in a while, I will indulge you, fellow Americans, by giving you some political analysis on how we can, together, change the future by changing tomorrow. President-elect Barack Obama is forming his cabinet as we speak. As president-elect-elect, I am also forming my cabinet as I speak. Since I get first pick, I choose Barack Obama as my vice-president. Oh, it's my turn now? OK, now I pick Hillary Clinton as my vice-vice-president. This way I don't think I will lose; since they're running with me, they can't run against me. Rounding out my cabinet, I pick Janice as my campaign manager, Felicity as Ultimate First Lady, Reggie White as my Minister of Defense, Tim as First Settler of Catan, and Sam as Superhero Liason. The last position undoubtedly requires explanation. Hollywood continues to show us various technologies that the military has begun to prototype. Even though Hollywood often exaggerates the abilities of such technology, there is no doubt that such technology exists. A wise philosopher once said: "I think it, therefore it is!" Lately, I have noticed a greater number of movies advocating Book-To-Real-Life technology as a plot device. This is clearly a nascent technology but the potential is boundless. Imagine converting a Superman comic book or a Batman comic book. Or even a My Little Pony comic book. As we look forward to 2012, we cannot be without someone who will interact with these heroes and ponies, persuading them to join our cause. Sam is our man. He has read a lot of comic books. I mean a lot. We're probably tied in terms of comic book reading, but he might have the lead on me by a page or so. Plus, if I'm president I can't read comic books. Fellow Americans, judge me not by my words as I venture forth to become president in 2012 with the Cabinet of Justice. Instead think back in your life to a time when you were in great need. And then someone came along and helped you without you expecting it. No doubt feelings of joy, gratitude, and hope filled your heart. Now pretend I am that person and judge me with those same feelings. Now convince others to do that too and we, together, can build a better tomorrow. Yes we can!

I'm Famous

2008-12-04T14:46:00.013-06:00

It's been a rough week. My three-hour hearing went alright. I didn't really get why the commissioner was so mad at me. I mean, all I did was go down to Ennis, teach my class, come back up to Dallas and tutor some more students. Sheesh. Then the Red Wings and Leafs started hating too. Whatever. So it looks like even though I said I was sorry, I'm done for here. I guess I'll be going to China soon. I don't know anything at all about hockey, but Sean Avery doesn't seem like a very nice guy. He's seems like the kind of guy that would pick on me in junior high (Sean Dabel) and high school (Matt Childers). Anyways, I must admit, though, I was thrilled when I saw that a rule was named after me (Sean Avery actually). The background behind the story seems like something I would do. I remember having this same feeling (the feeling of famousness) when Steve Avery was pitching for the Braves in the World Series (in the early 90's). Hearing the announcer say "...aaand Avery winds up for the pitch..." always gave me a thrill. Part of it comes from having a (relatively) unique name; I loved reading about Avery Johnson, both as a Warrior and a Dallas Mavs coach. I leave you, fair reader, with some good news about me. Ah, the good old days!

Hope

2008-11-25T09:31:00.001-06:00

Hope. Whatever your opinion of the president-elect, it it clear that, for a very visible segment of the population of the United States, he inspires hope. And while fear may have been a compelling reason for some voters on either side of the political spectrum, the impression one got from the McCain campaign wasn't one of hope. Pictures of people cheering, crying, shouting, and dancing. The depth of emotion was astonishing. Yet it was completely understandable. As I listened to NPR that Wednesday morning, there were callers who were black that admitted, with a deep sense of relief, that they had been unsure whether mainstream America would vote for a black president. They also added that they felt that they were truly proud to be American. Being a minority myself, I understand that sentiment, though I would not necessarily appropriate it for myself. For most people, anywhere in the world, it is an unknown experience, to live in a setting where most people do not look like yourself; America's claims for equality make it even more difficult since we often see the dissonance between what is and what should be. From that perspective, then, one can understand better the immensity and potency of feeling that Obama's election elicited. And let's be frank. For many voters, this was not just about the issues. This election was also about race. The idealist would say that an election should not be about the person, but rather the issues that they advocate. But one cannot so easily divorce a person from their position; I am, after all, voting for a person, not a slate of policies. The fundamental question became then: Would race matter in the evaluation of the person? Ironically, the answer was yes and no. Race did matter to some, but it didn't matter to others. The New York Times Exit Polls report is an amazing resource. The coolest thing is to see how the demographic categories are weighted. The interesting thing to note, with regard to race, is that minorities voted overwhelming for the minority candidate (one could interpret the exit polls as indicating that race was not a factor for whites). This doesn't mean that race was the only factor for minorities (you can click on previous years to see that there is a trend amongst blacks and latinos to vote Democrat). But, it seems that race matters more if you a minority. This is somewhat counter-intuitive since it has been a common argument that the pigmentation of one's skin shouldn't affect the judgment of one's ability and character. On the other hand, one can make the argument that, perhaps, many white Americans voted for Obama because he was black. And while this penchant for race-based voting may bother some, let us remember that for years every Caucasian American not only had the chance to pick someone that they thought represented them both ideologically and physically, but they had a choice. The assumption that I am going with is that most people don't pick a candidate based upon a careful examination of the issues that the candidates themselves present. Rather they select a candidate who they feel best represents them. The curious thing about Barack Obama is the messiah complex that people seemed to anoint him with. I heard ideas espoused on NPR like "Our country is going to be great again" or "I think this proves that racism is dead in our country". These raise the expectations of Obama's presidency, unreasonably I think. Perhaps this is expected, though, when you run a campaign whose catchword was Hope. Hope inspires. Hope motivates. It lifts us up to where belong. ☺ The kind of hope that Obama inspired challenges me to think of the kind of hope that Christ inspires. What are our greatest hopes and do we truly believe that those hopes could be realized in Christ? What kind of life would reflect that kind of hope? Even though I voted for Obama, I am not under the illusion that he was the perfect candidate. His record on abortion is distinctly pro-choice. I disagree strongly with his proposal for universal healthcare. On the other hand I felt that he would be able to navigate the economic crisis better than McCain. I felt that his approach to diplomacy and foreign relations would be better than that of a maverick. And, in the end, it was the fact that I could understand Obama that made him the most attractive candidate; even if I didn't agree with him on everything, I could understand him. There were times when I wanted to understand McCain, but I just couldn't (Sarah Palin for vice president?). In looking at Christ, we see someone who is complete, lacking in nothing. I feel uncomfortable saying that Christ can make our dreams can come true. That sounds too Disney-esque, petty, unrealistic. It rings hollow. But to say that in Christ our hopes are realized means something completely different to me. Hope reminds me that my current situation isn't the best, but there is something to look forward to. Hope tilts the down-trodden heart upward and gives us an impetus to move on. In Christ, hope is fulfilled. Our hope for love. Our hope for life. Our hope for a relationship with God.

Harder to Breathe

2008-11-23T07:32:00.005-06:00

It's been a while since I've had a day just to reconnect. On the one hand, a Sabbath seems like such a luxury; what about all those people that have to work every single day just to make ends meet? I'm reminded, though, that the Sabbath is about faith and blessing; it takes trust for a person to accept their limitations and embrace this idea of blessing that comes from God and not from me (me in the subjective first-person sense…I know that blessing doesn't come from me ☺). I realize I haven't been posting as much as I have wanted. Part of the reason comes out of me writing this Obama post that just never seems to get finished. But the bigger part of the reason comes from being unable to nail down this Sabbath. I look at the calendar and sometimes it looks like a tsunami of appointments, events, and responsibilities. It's hard to catch a breath sometimes. I'm definitely looking for some direction here… I wonder if it's just that I'm not as committed to the idea of rest, of faith, of trust…the foundations of a Sabbath.

New York Times

2008-10-31T15:46:00.015-05:00

New York is an adult Disneyland. No, not that kind of adult! I mean, it's a living amusement park for human beings. You could walk for miles and miles, exploring neighborhoods, eating different foods, watching different people, and never get bored! Here's a play by play of our trip. We got off the plane and decided to take the bus and the subway instead of a cab. I was amazed at the diversity! Even California didn't have the kind of diversity that I saw in New York. In this picture you see all kinds of different people sitting towards the back of the bus. I wanted to take a picture of the front of the bus but the Klingons, Wookies, and Nazgûl told me that they didn't want their pictures taken. I shouldn't have brought these shoes. These shoes are cool but they hurt my feet. There was so much walking! I should have brought my skateboard instead. Disneyland has Mickey Mouse. New York has the Naked Cowboy. Part of me regards him as a hero. The other part of me is taking a hot shower and scrubbing vigorously with soap. We went to Rockefeller Center which, along with every other building in New York, has a lot of offices. It also has a shrine to the Office. I was disappointed by how small it was. That's what she said. We tried to get tickets to see Wicked. We couldn't afford the face value tickets so we tried to get the lottery tickets instead. It was so exciting! You would put your name down and they put it in a cylinder and would roll it around and then pull some names out. It was exciting because you knew that you didn't have a good chance of winning. But this was true for everyone there. So it was especially exciting to see people get super pumped when they won. This was one of my favorite things about our trip. We did this three times! And we didn't win any of those times. BUT IT WAS SO EXCITING! Anne and Jason were such a blessing to us. We got to stay at their apartment and they put up with us even though they were super busy. I got to teach Anne how to lose in chess. I told her if she ever got better, I would never play with her again. I hope the motivational talk worked. Jason loves to eat. It's a good thing I do too. I also played a lot of Wii that week. I could've probably played Wii all week. But my wife wasn't going to let me do that. We saw these amazing cupcakes. I think Mike could make better cupcakes. But I'm not sure. I guess he'll just have to make me some so I can see if they're better than these cupcakes. But seriously, these cupcakes were A May Zing. One of the wife's friends is the layout guru for Seventeen. I asked if I could get my headshot on the cover of Seventeen. She told me to send her my stuff. I hope to get some glamour shots done soon. Chinatown was fun. We ate some ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. Totally worth it. We were going to eat some dumplings but because my wife makes awesome dumplings I was afraid that I was going to be disappointed. We ate Malaysian food instead (which was delicious!). Afterward, we saw this sign. Apparently people have been leaving dumplings everywhere. Probably because they aren't as good as my wife's dumplings. I'm glad we didn't eat dumplings. We ended our trip at the Brooklyn Bridge. The bridge was a pretty awesome piece of architecture. Walking across it was really fun. Coming back from New York made me realize that I love living in cities. On the flip side, though, it would be difficult to raise a family there. If you're interested you can see more pictures here: http://picasaweb.google.com/MisterAvery/NewYork

I'm not Japanese

2008-10-11T16:03:00.006-05:00

Games and highschoolers are a weird combination. On the one hand, high schoolers hate traditional lecturing so they're all ways suggesting stuff like "Mr. Chan, can we play a game?" But once they start playing a game you start hearing a lot of whining: "That's not fair!", "Can we stop playing this game?", "Can we just sit around and talk?", etc. My troubles all began with my our impending trip to New York. Casey and I decided to schedule the second diagnostic while we were gone, since it would require very little work from the sub. So, being the good foolish teacher that I am, I decided to have a review week! On Wednesday I decided to do a review session and to toss out Japanese (Kasugai) gummies to students that answered. That worked pretty well, but the initial reaction to the candy went something like this.

[Student catches candy] [Looks at candy] [Squints, unable to read the wrapper] [Realizes it is in another language] [Eyes it suspiciously] [Eats foreign candy] Student: Hrm. Not bad! Mr. Chan, where did you get these? Me: From the store. And I want everyone to know that I'm not Japanese.

So they ended up liking it. Which was cool. The funny thing was that on Friday we played Jeopardy and they came up with their own team names. Here's a picture of the board: Notice that one of the students decided to name their name some of the Japanese characters they found on the wrapper. I thought it was very funny. And very difficult. Because now I didn't know what to call their team. Shrug. I know that people in Ennis probably don't have any access to the kind of cultural diversity I take for granted. One of my dreams is to invite a Japanese chef to come and make sushi for my whole class. It'd be fun to watch different people get grossed out. It'd also be cool to see if some of the kids enjoyed it too. Back to Jeopardy. So in the end, it seemed like everyone had fun, but it was so much work that I'm having second thoughts about doing that again. Which is too bad since I loved (and still love) playing Jeopardy.

Adventures in Babysitting

2008-10-02T11:15:00.016-05:00

This isn't my usual Sabbath post. I'm here at TJ, subbing. Some highlights or interesting bits of my day so far:

They have a computer in the classroom. Which means that I can check email and surf the web. It's good but it makes me think that the real teacher here probably wastes a lot of time.
1st period:

Student 1: What's that book for? Student 2: It's to read. What do you think a book is for?

I have to begin each quiz with a spiel on cheating. They still tried to cheat even when I told them I could see them cheating. I had to step in and ask them to put away their crib sheets.
4th period:

Student 1: Why don't you want to play basketball or baseball? Student 2: I play tuba. See how strong my shoulders are?

During roll call:
Me: Miguel? Student: Call me Michaelangelo.
Are you for real?
5th period:

Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Me: No. You're an adult. You can hold it for 30 minutes. If you can't hold it for 30 minutes, I hope you're wearing a diaper.

Here's a picture of what some of the students drew of me. I thought it was hilarious! For whatever reason, they're really into drugs. They thought it would be awesome to draw SpongeBob smoking crack.

I really like TJ. I'd definitely teach here if I could. The students here are receptive to authority and I think they would be receptive to good teaching. There's definitely a difference in culture here between my regular teaching gig in Ennis. I feel that the students here are more interested in participating as a group, rather than just individual performance. I also feel that there is a higher level of respect here. But that might just come from being a mean, old sub.

If You Meet Me Halfway

2008-09-27T18:01:00.008-05:00

It's been interesting talking to people about who they would vote for. Voting is great. It gives people a sense of ownership and it gives people a voice. But I wonder if voting is the best. The Wife and I were talking about playing games and how a game would be affected if people started playing to increase the total score of the people playing instead of just trying to maximize their own personal score. Granted, this would make some games stupid (think of a chess game) but it would have some interesting effects. For example, in a race all the contestants would add up their times to try and collectively beat the best collective time before them. The emphasis would be on a collective effort to maximize results. Critics of this mentality would rightly point out an analogy to communism and we would all agree that communism as an expression of government is not really tenable. The tendency of people to be selfish would be the demise of this kind of thinking. But our own country exemplifies the problems with pursuing individualism. In voting we have winners and losers. Everyone votes and whoever has the most votes, for some definition of most (see the electoral college), wins. I get pretty grumpy if when I lose. Even if it is for 37 nano seconds, I can feel in me a reluctance to assist or help the other person. Take that feeling, multiply it by millions of people who have much more invested in the election than in a game of Settlers. And you can see how our system does not necessarily promote the greater good. If you were a Democrat and part of the minority, why would you help Republicans, who consistently see it as their mandate not to consult you in deciding policy because "they won". Of course, not all politicians think this way, but it is clear that many do. This is the problem with a two-party system. There is little cooperation or collaboration needed. When you read about politics in other countries you read how even the most powerful political parties are forced to collaborate with other political groups because there is a need to have a majority. Granted, this still doesn't solve the problem of winners and losers but at the very least it provides a measure of cooperation that isn't seen in a two-party system. The downside of a multi-party system (defined here to be more than two) is that it takes longer for things to get done. But things already take a long time to get done and the reality of compromise, consensus, collaboration, and cooperation provides better for the ideal of government. It makes me wonder what our country would be like if whoever won this election was forced to take the other as their vice president.

Everything Stops

2008-09-21T17:55:00.002-05:00

I learned that the Hebrew word for sabbath means “stop.” Often in the Bible it is translated as “rest,” an equally valid translation, but to me the word rest has overtones of something different than “stop.” Life really did stop for us on Friday evening and Saturday in Tel Aviv. - Lynne M. Baab, Sabbath Keeping

Baab’s book, Sabbath Keeping, is remarkable. Remarkable and challenging. I have always thought that having a sabbath was a “good idea.” Just like lifting weights was a “good idea.” And drinking more than half a glass of water a day was a “good idea.” Sometimes it takes some persuasion to take a “good idea” and turn it into an “essential idea.” So it’s easy to see how having a sabbath seemed to be a “good idea”. Even though I would categorize myself as a type-A, go-getter type of a person, my low-stress life hardly demanded a need for a sabbath. But Baab’s writing is gentle yet firm in it’s persuasion. She described a world that seemed so foreign yet inviting to me. A world where, for one day, I would be still. I would breathe and rebreathe. I would become fresh and refreshed. The temptation is to open up and dissect Sabbath Keeping, analyzing all its different details, praising its triumphs and deriding its faults. But I’m not really interested in that. The book itself is well-worth reading and I leave it as an exercise to the reader, but I find myself drawn to this idea of a sabbath for two reasons. First, it is an invitation to be renewed, to be refreshed, to be re-created. Even if life is relatively low-stress, that is not the only benefit of a sabbath. A sabbath gives us the opportunity to pursue creativity in a way that is unavailable to us normally. It allows us to rethink, retreat, reshape, rejoice. It gives us a space to grow in new ways that we might not have thought of. Second, it is an exercise in faith. I love how Baab talks about how many of us aren’t human beings. Instead we are human doings. We become defined by what we do, how we do it, and what others think of that. I want to be free from that. I want to be whatever the Divine wants me to be and I want to be free to be reshaped in that way. Part of doing things different on the sabbath means that we are not obligated to do. The things we do in life to secure our livelihood, those things are important. But for one day, I am asked to trust in the providence of God and to acknowledge that He has already taken care of me for the past six days and this day is one of His many gifts to me. I am challenged to trust Him in this, to put my faith in Him. So what’s this blog thing? I dug up an old thought that I wrote in college about blogs. In re-reading it, there is created in me the same feeling I get when I see a carwreck; there are conflicting feelings of horror and awe that impel me to both look away and stare at the same time. It is, in my opinion, undeveloped in thought, style, and diction. But it was me. Perhaps it still is me. Except I wouldn’t say it exactly this way:

What blogs are for? Maybe they're for letting people know what's up with you. But sometimes I get the feeling that people blog just for themselves. Oftentimes there's no coherency or you'd have to know what that person was talking about to understand. So that sort of defeats the purpose of having a blog. The real quesion is: Would you blog if you KNEW that no one read it. haha. My poor excuse for a smiley face. I know that Ev's little checker won't reach this. I guess that's where the paradox lies: It seems that the blog is for the writer; yet when asked if they would still blog if they knew that no one would read it, the lingering suspicion is that they wouldn't. Curious. I personally am convinced that the Internet is the most frustrating mediums ever to be invented. On the one hand it is able to reach thousands, maybe (if you have a nice enough server) millions with your message. On the other hand it has a tendency to miscommunicate our communication. The message is devoid of tone, devoid of those subtle hints of meaning that we depend on in talking. We try to ﬁx this by conjuring up smileys :); but they fall woefully short of being able to communicate what we feel. The combination of mass dispersion and inadequate communication is a scary combination. Reminds me of the time I wrote this mushy email to Mae and sent it to all my high school friends. So gross...and embarrassing. I think that's probably one of my most embarrassing moments. One could read this and say: "HEY! Avery's criticizing me." Or they could read this and say: "Why is Avery always joking around?" Or they could read this and say: "Ich könnte English lesen. Ich muß zum Arbeit gehen. Tchuß!" (German: "I can't read English. I have to go to work. Laters!") I've just seen too many misunderstandings over email/web to truly embrace it; in addition, I think it's a very yuppie way to say things. Instead of spending time with people, we spend time with mice and keyboards. Hah. If anyone is guilty of that it's me!

Completely unedited. I feel astonishingly naked. But in re-reading this, I realize that I am very different from the guy that wrote this six years ago. This place isn’t going to be my own personal rant-a-space; that’s why I got married: so I could have some one to rant to, instead of some thing. I want people to read these thoughts and respond to them. And I want to respond and to be changed by them. That is part of my hope for my sabbath, that one of the hallmarks of my sabbath would be that it would be a space for intro and outrospection in community. One of the things that I haven’t had or made time for is writing. Writing or reading. But mainly writing because I think my desire to write comes out of the things I read and I’ve been reading a surprising amount lately. In talking to the Wife, we talked about how I wanted to write. So here it is, my next (it’s definitely not my first) foray into the world of writing. The desire here is just to write for an hour, once a week, on my sabbath to rethink, regrow, rehope, reconnect, rebreathe.