Valentine's Day

If you don't already know, I don't like celebrating any holidays. I especially abhor the ones whose primary purpose is to separate me from my money; VD (I think that the initials are not a coincidence) falls right into that category. I'll admit it: I'm something of a bah humbug. The wife always asks me, "Why are you always being like an old man?"; I can't wait till I'm old so that I can say, "Because I am." But it's not just VD. I'm like this around Christmas too. I read a xanga post by DC who basically said he loved the gift giving during that time of year because he got great pleasure from seeing other people react with delight to their gifts. I think there's something to that sentiment. But I figure, if you love that so much, just give gifts whenever you want. There's something in Christmas that builds up a sense of entitlement or obligation (for the receiver and the giver). But I'm getting ahead of myself. 10 months ahead of myself. So you want to know the true meaning of St. Valentine's Day? If Valentine's Day were celebrated in its rightful historical context, we'd have a way awesomer holiday. The legend goes something like this: As the early church was growing, it was looked upon with curiosity by the Roman public at large. The cult had grown out of its provincial roots in that backwater of Palestine and had spread throughout the Empire. Rome, at the time, had a tradition of considering their emperors as gods; Christians abhorred this and refused to worship the emperor. This particularly incensed Claudius II and he decided to punish the Christians. He made a proclamation that anyone adhering to the Christian religion was forbidden to marry, since Christians were known to marry incestuously. This came out of a misunderstanding of the terms that Christians often referred to one another, as brother and sister. In defiance, Valentine began marrying Christians that wanted to be married. Claudius heard of this and imprisoned Valentine. Valentine was offered a release if he would just say that the emperor was divine. The emperor's messengers pleaded with him, telling him that he didn't have to believe it, he just had to say it. Valentine was brought before Claudius with the emperor's offer and he refused, saying that if his heart belonged to God then so did his words. The emperor was furious and immediately jumped out of his throne with dagger in hand and cut out Valentine's heart, proclaiming to the court: "His heart is mine!" Terror swept through the Christian community and that very day all of the husbands of the couples whom Valentine married were brought before the emperor and were given the same offer. The next day each of the wives received a small gift. The bloodied heart of her husband. This isn't some candy heart that says "Hug Me" or "Too Sweet". This was a heart that was a picture of heroism, sacrifice, loyalty and devotion. (Cue the LEGENDARY ROCK anthem). And not to something as droll and mundane as the picture of love given to us by or Maid in Manhattan or 27 Dresses but to something greater. Alas, Valentine's Day has been co-opted by popular culture and turned, instead, to an expensive day for couples and a lonely day for singles. I look forward to the first real Valentine's Day movie. Maybe they could get Bruce Willis to be St. Valentine. Or Samuel L Jackson. For a more traditional look at Valentine's Day read what my wife has to say.