Got Caught

Dear Captain,  

Recently, a certain FF has written to us concerning some of your recent behavior. We regret to inform you that your MAN-bership to the man race has been revoked. We have recently discovered that you show a large deficiency in sports knowledge. This came as a surprise to us since we have been tracking that you play fantasy football with some regularity. But, through varying channels of information, we found that you played for the expressed purpose of "...able to talk to the guys about stuff..." Your lack of passion for sports itself and your need for some ulterior motivation, such as "...not feeling dumb when guys talk about Artest...", to know more about sports shows that your are no longer fit to be a part of our organization. If you are interested in retaining your MAN-bership please make the following changes. 1. Stop reading web sites related to computer technology. While this is certainly acceptable behavior for a MAN-ber, all of our MAN-bers balance this out by reading an equal amount of sports news and/or play some sort of fantasy sport because they enjoy it. 2. Reduce the time you play your Nintendo DS. Yeah we know you do it. You don't even play sports games on it. Increasing your hero's strength doesn't make it a sports game. 3. Play an actual sport more than once every three months. In your defense, we note that you are highly competitive and have shown some competency in athletics. Unfortunately you lack discipline and are on a downhill slide in your athletic career since you are way past 30 years of age. We have informed your wife of this development. Until you are reinstated we ask that you kindly wear more pink than you have been. The Man