A New Beginning: The Cabinet of Justice

Good day to you, my fellow Americans. It is with great joy and satisfaction that I officially announce my bid for presidency. I am a bit late for the 2008 election (even though it is still 2008) so my campaign staff and I have set our sights on 2012. With respect to the 2008 election, then, I concede to Barack Obama. Our president-elect has a heavy and arduous task ahead of him. One of the benefits of conceding now is that I will not have to clean up this mess and can jump on the bandwagon of prosperity in being the president in 2012. So I think I get the silver medal this time around. Sorry Senator McCain. The next four years will be tough. Through this blog, you will be given insight into my monstrous and obfuscated mind. It will be easy to see how I make decisions and how I don't make undecisions. Through this process of looking at latin letters and relying on skills learned as a child (aka reading), you will develop a taste for the kind of president I yearn to become. I promise you, fellow Americans, that I will not let you down in my quest to make you think the same way I do. This blog will continue as it always has: as a poetic reflection of my life. But once in a while, I will indulge you, fellow Americans, by giving you some political analysis on how we can, together, change the future by changing tomorrow. President-elect Barack Obama is forming his cabinet as we speak. As president-elect-elect, I am also forming my cabinet as I speak. Since I get first pick, I choose Barack Obama as my vice-president. Oh, it's my turn now? OK, now I pick Hillary Clinton as my vice-vice-president. This way I don't think I will lose; since they're running with me, they can't run against me. Rounding out my cabinet, I pick Janice as my campaign manager, Felicity as Ultimate First Lady, Reggie White as my Minister of Defense, Tim as First Settler of Catan, and Sam as Superhero Liason. The last position undoubtedly requires explanation. Hollywood continues to show us various technologies that the military has begun to prototype. Even though Hollywood often exaggerates the abilities of such technology, there is no doubt that such technology exists. A wise philosopher once said: "I think it, therefore it is!" Lately, I have noticed a greater number of movies advocating Book-To-Real-Life technology as a plot device. This is clearly a nascent technology but the potential is boundless. Imagine converting a Superman comic book or a Batman comic book. Or even a My Little Pony comic book. As we look forward to 2012, we cannot be without someone who will interact with these heroes and ponies, persuading them to join our cause. Sam is our man. He has read a lot of comic books. I mean a lot. We're probably tied in terms of comic book reading, but he might have the lead on me by a page or so. Plus, if I'm president I can't read comic books. Fellow Americans, judge me not by my words as I venture forth to become president in 2012 with the Cabinet of Justice. Instead think back in your life to a time when you were in great need. And then someone came along and helped you without you expecting it. No doubt feelings of joy, gratitude, and hope filled your heart. Now pretend I am that person and judge me with those same feelings. Now convince others to do that too and we, together, can build a better tomorrow. Yes we can!